September 26, 2007

When the phone rang at 11:36 last night, I knew... my dad had finally died. He was diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer on Friday, April 13. The doctors said to treat it would be useless so he decided to accept his fate. He seemed peaceful and sure about it, except at times, when he would show us that he was scared. It helped me, as the oldest child, to see him that way. There were always unspoken expectations between us. It was nice to finally see that we were the same.

I called about 9:45 last night. I don't know why. My sister put her phone to his ear so that I could tell him again that I loved him and that I knew he'd always be with me. Someone suggested to me that perhaps that is what he was waiting for since my sister and brother were already there with him. I'm just glad that I called and that he's peacefully free now.

Thank you all for your support and thoughts and prayers through all of this. My family appreciates it. I do too.

My oldest daughter responded in the best way... as she frequently does. She hugged me and said, "He's still with you Mommy. He's just in your heart now."