My soldier finally has an address and is anxiously wanting care packages. I decided to hit the grocery store last night and buy stuff to mail.
I had no idea where to start.
Its funny because when he and I talked about it back in October, I had a list of ideas a mile long. He kept telling me to be patient because he wouldn't have an address until January. So, here it is and my mind is blank.
I started choosing some healthy snacks. He had commented that family members he didn't even know sent so many sweets last year when he was there. He said, "Of course I can't resist and I gained so much weight!" I promised him no chocolate chip cookies and no sweets, only healthy stuff.
I chose some of my favorite Odwalla bars (of which he took two of the last time he was here) and some fruit snacks. I also found some pistachios and Cajun trail mix.
Then I stood in the grocery store will these things in my hand and cried.
How could these things possibly help him? What difference does a bag of nuts make to a soldier who is facing life and death at every turn? My shoulders get tense just thinking about living like that every day for over a year! And how could life possibly ever be normal after that?
The check out girl inquired why I seemed so distant and upset. I told her that it was my first care package and I felt so helpless as to how to make things better for my soldier. She gave me some suggestions (very sweet) and then said, "I salute you."
Why salute me? I am certainly not the one putting my life in jeopardy. My life seems pretty light compared to his.
Hopefully a healthy snack will help him to remember that I want to nurture him. Maybe that thought will bring a temporary smile to his face and a little stirring of love in his locked-away heart...