My soldier said he didn't mean to make me feel pressured or that I should take anything he said personally. He said he was communicating his feelings to me. Apparently, he is used to an emotional or irrational response from a female when expressing his true feelings. I didn't respond in that manner so he was very happy about that.
I realize that these expectations of how the opposite sex is going to act or react is based on what we have learned from past relationships. I didn't know what to think about some of the things that were said. Part of me did take it personally, but I have learned as one of my Four Agreements** that nothing others do (or say) has anything to do with me. Everything he said was based on his filters of relationships with previous girlfriends. So, even if I felt a little uncomfortable, I didn't react that way because intellectually, I knew that his statements weren't about me. It took me a day to sort through them but I'm glad I didn't react as I would've before. And he's glad too.
Anyway, so we're all good. Yay! I still think we're learning more and more about each other with each passing day. This separation is good for us. We have to take things slowly, build trust and take care of business in the meantime.
Right now, I am going to plant some new herbs in my new backyard.
Have I mentioned that I love my new house?!
**The Four Agreements:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
3. Don't Make Assumptions
4. Always Do Your Best
I am glad to hear the positivity that came out of the situation. Sounds like you are using this time apart well. I'm glad you love your new house....have a good start to your week.
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Four very sound agreements! I may have to laminate your advice :)
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