In my blog reading today, I ran across many posts of people concerned about the person they were falling for or had fallen for, why people come into our lives, etc.
Then tonight, on the drive home from the grocery store with the kids, we listened to Disney princess music and I heard a song from the movie Pocahontas.
I began thinking about it. As I stated many times, I didn't plan on falling for a soldier. I had no idea this was "just around the riverbend". I wonder....
Do we really have a choice who we fall in love with?
I mean think about it - history, fiction and pop culture are all filled with stories of people who shouldn't have fallen in love but they did. From Pocahontas and John Smith to Romeo and Juliet to Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Love, quite frankly, is like some mixed up potion that gets under your skin and sucks out all of your brain cells til all that's left are sighs and synchronized heart beats and twinkling eyes.
It doesn't make much sense, really, and I wonder if we can control it in some way. In thinking about the times I fell in love during my adult life, it seemed as if someone else was in charge. But then I wonder if we were just two people who needed each other at the time. Perhaps our "pain-bodies" were attracted as Eckhart Tolle would say. Or maybe we had life lessons we had to glean from each other. Maybe we were together to learn how to forgive. I do believe that we best learn who we are in relation to another person. Even if that person is 6000 miles away and your only communication is daily emails and weekly phone calls.
I can look back on the men I fell in love with and I can't explain why. Of course, now I can see that certain situations were doomed or that it was obvious what issues would arise later. But in that moment, when I had the butterflies in my stomach and we stared into each others' eyes, it didn't matter. Something greater than us was happening and we were just along for the ride.
Whew. I'd better hang on tight for this one. It looks like a doozy!
**Photo of Fernanda Oliveira and Yosvani Ramos (performing Romeo and Juliet) of the English National Ballet. Photographer: Sasha Gusov**