Monday, September 15, 2008

Little mirrors

This post will be radically different from the last post but such is my life. I am ever switching gears from 'single' to 'mom' and trying to work out the balance between the two.

The weather here in Texas is phenomenal this week. Today's high was only 81. Just perfect for me.

I decided to forego my usual Monday night A Course in Miracles study group to spend the evening with the kids. I will be attending a spiritual Kirtan music concert on Wednesday night so I thought we'd enjoy the nice weather together tonight.

After dinner we went for a walk around the neighborhood. Grace decided to push her baby stroller with her stuffed flamingo strapped inside. Both she and Rose took turns pushing the stroller down the sidewalk, sometimes running ahead of me and sometimes running over my heels.

"Mommy, it feels good outside. Its not sweaty at all!"

Grace never did enjoy being hot. She is my January baby. Even as an infant, she would break into giggles when the cold wind would blow in her face.

After a while, and as expected, both girls decided they no longer wanted to push the baby stroller. I had given a warning before we left the house that I would not be responsible for their toys. So, they decided to split the responsibility.

Rose folded down the stroller and began carrying it.

Grace carried her stuffed flamingo named Miami.

After a while, Rose says, "Grace, do you want me to show you how to carry your flamingo like a baby?"

"No."

We walked further.

"But Grace, don't you think you should carry Miami like a baby? I mean she was in the stroller and now you're carrying her wrong."

"No, I don't want to!"

I've seen this on numerous occasions so I spoke up.

"Rose, why don't you let her carry it the way she wants to. Why do you always have to correct her?"

As soon as the words left my mouth I realized.... this is exactly what I have done to her.

Ugh. There is no worse feeling than to see your child do something irritating and then realize they are just mirroring you.

I think I did that to her for years. I guess it was my attempts to control. I think I even did the same thing to my ex. I'd like to think I'm better now. I hope so.

*sigh*

I can't break a habit in her that is so well ingrained. I hope my awareness of it, and especially when I see her doing it, will help me. And her.

Wow. I suppose that is yet another dragon on this quest that I have yet to slay. Sometimes the mirror image ain't pretty but it doesn't lie, does it?

6 comments:

  1. No worries, the sweaty weather just moved to Virginia... it didn't go far! ;)

    I have seen that dragon up close and personal! My daughter is a tad on the opinionated side so often we come to understandings... okay, you can do it that way, but this is the way that the rest of us do it. (Granted, this is usually in the context of words... eg she says pout is not a word despite knowing how to spell it and finding it in the dictionary) I learned quickly to provide her with options... yet still find myself attempting to correct her in a way that is more black and white... because this is the way the world at large does it. I am working on remembering she is a kid... and clouds can be purple if she likes. ;)

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  2. Those days don't seem so far behind us....and yet they feel so far away....you can't help but look at your children and know that you will see them mimic what they have seen from us....it's okay, they will be fine, remember that as we teach, they learn, as they learn, they grow, but we grow too....and it's okay to let them teach us about what we might have done incorrectly the first time. We call our oldest our "experiment". We do it jokingly with her and she takes it in stride, but in fact she kind of was....the mistakes we made as parents with her, taught us what we needed to change with her siblings, funny part was, she is such a great kid....smart, beautiful....and is going to make a hell of an impact on the world, because of and in spite of, our parenting....

    luv ya girl!

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  3. OH MY WORD! I do that *blush* and now that I think about it Cameron does it to - all the time. Drives me wild!!

    mmm - now that I really think about it - the mirror is a little worrying!

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  4. That happens to me - I say something, and have my kids mirror my own bad habit, and then I want to correct them!

    And don't apologize for switching gears - single parents have much to blog about. From dating to parenting to spending time alone. It's all part of the mix.

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  5. It's funny sometimes, I always think I'm teaching HER. Then I realize how much she has taught me. *hugs*

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  6. We're always learning, aren't we. Kids, relationships, all of it. And thank goodness for that; at least we're paying attention (or trying to, in any case)!

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