Thursday, September 25, 2008

What the hell was I thinking?

The ex never liked when I was right. Its not like I threw it in his face... well, maybe I did but only because he never seemed to respect my opinion on things.

For instance, he is a FAB-U-LOUS gourmet cook and watches Food Network just as much as he watches sports. The guy can cook anything and cook it well. However, we are different in that he will follow a recipe to the letter and I like to deviate. (Call me experimental!) If I suggested adding something or changing something, he would absolutely balk at the idea. Every now and then I would slip something by him (which was rare as it was always his kitchen) and suddenly, he would have to admit that I had a good idea.

It was the same with lots of things. If I made a suggestion on something, he would act like I didn't have a clue. Then a friend would suggest the same idea and he'd jump all over it.

Here's the thing with me: I don't like being ignored. And back then, it only made me talk much louder.

So lately, the ex has been having problems with his knee. He has always been a runner so I suggested cycling. He knew I was getting into it and doing long rides but he kept rolling his eyes at the suggestion. He finally had an MRI and went to see an orthopedic surgeon a few weeks ago. Later that night he was at the house.

I could see something was up by the look on his face. He told me that the surgeon said he may be developing arthritis in his knee. Then he rolled his eyes and reluctantly admitted that the surgeon also suggested he take up cycling. Ooooo... I held back but he just kept laughing and saying, "Whatever!"

Now, he's cycling and occasionally asks my advice on the sport. "Since you're the expert and everything..." he always says with an eye roll.

I think its great and I encourage it. Good for him.

Tonight we were at Rose's soccer game and I told him about a group ride I will be doing this weekend. I told him that I think he'd enjoy riding with other people and he could make more friends.

He looked at me and said blankly, "I don't like groups. That would mean I'd have to talk to people."

What the...?!?!

How the hell was I married to a man who doesn't like to go out and meet new people?!?!

Do you ever look at your ex and wonder... What the hell was I thinking?!?

Heh, it worked out. He's a good man. I have great children from him. But I am a very thankful woman that I've moved on. Whew!


  1. Yes last time I saw him I wonder why? But I got two girls fron it. :)

  2. Yeah, every day. Every time I think, "Maybe, just maybe I should try this one more time..." after 7 years of trying. Only to end up in complete emotional breakdown? Nah. I've come too far to go back down that road.

    I used to tell other people things to tell Him because he would NEVER (still doesn't) listen to a word I say...but if it came from someone else, he would come to me and say, "You know what (so and so) said?"

    Duuuude. He thinks I'm a complete idiot.

    Be well, T.

  3. Indeed, I often wonder "what the hell was I thinking?" I even wondered it then. I can't even recall how he talked me into marrying him!

    At any rate, that is so weird. I would never have thought that cycling would be good for you if you have knee trouble. I would have suggested swimming.

    Shows what I know!

  4. Yes, I often used to look at your ex and wonder, "What the hell are you thinking?!" I'm glad you finally (!) came to that realization. Your writings are great by the way. I wish we had more talks...

  5. Cycling is a sport of gods. I took it up when my knees felt the pain of running, and I've never looked back. And the thing is, when I run now it's painfree because most of my time is spent on the bike.

    As for your ex and the group ride - I hate to admit it, but I totally prefere one-on-one socializing to group socializing. I cycle solo or with a friend, never in a group.

    As for cooking - good for you for deviating! I make shit up in the kitchen all the time.

  6. Surely every ex thinks the same thing!

    I would have made you believe ANYTHING you cooked was from the gods, that way I wouldn't have to do it!!

    thanks for coming by.


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