Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Your love got me lookin' so crazy right now

Have I said before how much I love talking to my soldier?

He will usually send an email earlier in the day letting me know an approximate time for his call. A few times in the past few months, he's called me without notice. About a month ago, I missed his call and he was unable to call again until the next week!! I was a mess all week long! I've noticed that I can't handle more than 7 days without hearing his voice.

The problem is that when I do know that he will be calling, I am nearly sick with nausea waiting for the phone to ring. And his timing! Oh my goodness!!

Once he called when I was just sitting down to an appointment with my insurance agent. This meeting was planned 2 weeks in advance and the phone rang the second my butt hit the chair.

He's called when I'm in the restroom.

He called once when I was facilitating my study group.

He called once while I was at lunch with co-workers.

He called one day while I was trying to complete an interview with a new employee we were hiring.

I never know what to say or how to act when he calls at inappropriate times. I can't stand people who will answer their cell phones when I'm talking to them. I probably get a deer-in-the-headlights look in my eyes because I know its him and I have to answer. I always find myself saying, "Baghdad calling" and whomever I'm with will insist, "Well...answer the phone!!!"

Yesterday, I carried the phone with me to the grocery store, to the bathroom, to a meeting... its maddening knowing that he will be calling at any moment and I absolutely have to answer the phone no matter what I'm doing! Its not like I can just call him back.

Thank GOD for the guys that I work with and their understanding. One of the guys was at my desk talking to me when my soldier's call finally came through. I nearly fell over with dizziness because all of the blood leaves my brain when I know its him. My co-worker simply said, "Is that your man?" and when I said yes, he left my office.

I think some of my nervousness also is because the past 3 weeks, he has been very emotionless and monotone. I've been worried about him lately. Still I've been doing my best to keep up the light happy attitude that he usually receives from me.

When I finally heard his voice, I could tell he was happier. He knows his vacation is right around the corner. He's already finishing up tasks that he knows he will not be able to get to until late October/early November when he gets back to Iraq. And then, its just the final countdown until he's home for good. Oh my. I can't wait.

I'm actually sick with nausea about his upcoming leave too. Ugh. I'm not sure I can even think straight here lately and I still have a month to go.

I just want to touch him again. I just want to put my hands on his face and feel his warmth again. He's in such dire need for a woman's touch. I look forward to us melting into each other.

I can't remember the last time I felt like this about anyone. Its all I can do to make it through a minute here and there without the thought of him interrupting anything else of importance.

I am definitely a girl gone mad.


  1. Mad, your not mad.....in fact, when you fell for that wonderful soldier, you simply joined a small, but significant group of people, who, like you, live attached to a piece of technology ties your heart to his. Albeit, thousands of miles apart, yet once that connection is made, no matter where you are, he is right beside you, sharing each breath, each beat of your heart....and when that connection breaks....you wonder how you will survive until you once again hear Baghdad calling again.....

    Mad....no, your not mad, your in love...in love with a man who defends this Nation with everything he is, his honor, his courage, his life, and you, you are here patiently waiting for his safe return so that your hearts, separate, can once again be one.....

  2. I hope that he reads posts like this (or does that frustrate him?)

    Definitely not mad... just amazingly connected at a deeper level. Enjoy it and "Thank God for technology!"

  3. A voice can be so powerful. The communication you must depend on to make things work is establishing a firm base upon which you two can grow together. You're not mad. You love. My heart grows warm with anyone I speak with on the phone that I love; I so appreciate the time taken to talk, even to those I talk to daily. Love, even basic human love, is an incredible motivating force.

    Be well, T.

  4. That's such a hard emotion to deal with, when you can't wait for something but don't know when it will happen. Toss some sexy angst into the mixer, and frappe yourself to pieces! I've been there, for sure.

    How great when you get to talk to him, though!

  5. A girl gone mad - can you bottle those feelings and send them to me please, T? :)

  6. I loved getting phone calls, especially after 10-15 days of nothing. I'd always get so excited when I heard his ringtone :) I told my profs way ahead of time of my situation so they'd know if I just up and left...even in Russia. It's a great feeling to hear their voice for sure. :)

    Congrats on getting to see him soon!


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