It was a year ago today that I first began this blog. I almost said it was a year ago that I began this quest but that began nearly 39 years ago...
My first post was nothing more than an innocent introduction. I copied over the few posts I had written on myspace... I had no idea I would delve into my life here as deeply as I have.
I began this blog one day after Soldier left for his deployment. Yes, it was a year ago yesterday that he left for Iraq. I was having a difficult time with it yesterday because I was remembering that I was the last phone call he made before boarding that plane.
A big part of me wants to send him a card. I have sent him cards all year encouraging him... comparing this deployment to an Ironman competition.... reminding him of all the training and dedication of this "athlon" as he'd put into a triathlon. It helped him. I was already writing the card out in my head...
Hey there Ironman,
Its the last 10 miles of the marathon portion of this long "athlon". I know your legs are cramping and tight. I realize that your hands are probably numb from pumping you along. You're almost there. Keep your focus. Know that its almost over and you've done amazingly so far. The finish line is just ahead and you can coast now. You are the strength that feels as if its left you. Its still there... you just have to believe in it...."
The thing is, I won't do it. He needs space and so do I. I have to cut the cord between us. Its difficult and goes completely against the way I normally handle relationships but it has to be done. For both of our sakes but MY SAKE especially.
He needs to feel the space between us. He needs to know what he left behind.
I am happy that I began this blog, even if it was meant to be nothing more than an outlet during his deployment. I have made so many friends and I'm completely addicted now!!
Thank you for following along on my quest. Thank you for so much support, love and encouragement. Thank you for your patience as I treaded through waters that many of you have already been through. Sometimes, I didn't think I was going to make it and then I would see you all, standing along the coast cheering me on. I honestly think that this blog has been one of the best things I've ever done for myself.
Thank you. Here's to many more years!!