Tuesday, December 9, 2008


I have mentioned before that I have a new friend with benefits. Ironically, he is the same man I spoke of in this post on having a back-up plan. It was totally not planned...in an "on purpose" kind of way. The universe just works in weird ways like that.

His name starts with a "T" too. So together, we're "TNT". Dynamite, right?

We're certainly working on it!

He has only been divorced since February from an emotionally abusive and dominating wife of 10 years. He is also the youngest son of a Marine Drill Sergeant. Those things may not be a big deal to most but this guy? He's an affectionate, loving and sensitive man. He has been through quite a bit and his focus is on becoming his own man. He is on his own "Quest for T", if you will.

We started this whole thing during a simple conversation where I mentioned the disappointing weekend with Soldier. He was talking about dating and not meeting the right girls. I jokingly said something about not getting into a relationship but only having a sex friend. He laughed and said something like "yeah, great idea."

Then we both stopped laughing and looked at each other.

"Should we?"

Apparently, I have now become the teacher to a very willing student.

Unfortunately, he has been brainwashed and degraded to a point of being nearly virginal. He is comfortable with me. I am comfortable with me too. And my sexuality.

He is affectionate, caring, sensitive, SO sweet and willing to do whatever I ask.

I am open, nurturing, encouraging and willing to do whatever it takes.

Sexual healing really is a good thing!

He has actually asked me to help him become a great lover. Well, my friends, that's a challenge I'm willing to accept. Besides, when do we get the chance to groom a lover to be exactly what we want them to be?

Its been fun for me....maybe because its safe. My friends and I have joked that I should be a sex therapist. I am such a sexual person and I think our sexuality should be celebrated, not hidden away.

I am getting more confident about asking for what I want. I'm allowing the dominance to come back out, but in a gentle way. I am also learning to be in the present moment instead of thinking ahead and wondering what is going to happen next. The experience is helping me to shed some of the emotional baggage I've held around sex for so long.

This is the first relationship, casual, no-strings-attached, with benefits, that I've ever experienced. And I think I have a perfect partner!

So far, I have lit the fuse on this dynamite and the sparks are definitely flying!

Now if only we could get our custody weekends synched up!! Sheesh!


  1. See....what did I tell you?

    I am happy for you. and I told you that things have a way of working themselves out.

    As for the weekends...we are still trying to work through that too...it sucks!

  2. Shucks, girl...good for you!

    Be well--sounds like you are!

  3. Becareful. A man like him will be like a starving man. He will bond to a person who is nice to him. So the NSA will disappear quickly.

  4. Sounds like fun. But ditto what Mike said. Just be careful, girl. And have a blast!! :-)

  5. Sexual healing is awesome. You go, T!

  6. Good for you!! ENJOY the teaching :)

    Mike may have a point though - happened to me in a similar situation! So just keep the boundaries clear!

  7. How does he feel about sharing this at a public blog? Eek!

    And how is that "hospital cafeteria" experiment going? !!!

  8. Oh my god this is wonderful. I would love if someone were my teacher. Couldn't we all learn something?!

    It definitely takes security to be the teacher.
    Congrats! This sounds healthy and great for both of you.

  9. It's like your very own SEX MAN. How great T!

    As for him getting attached, as the dude above said, maybe. But as long as you're both open and honest with each other, I see no issues!

  10. OK! I must admit that I am jealous. Where can I find one of those? I want an impressionable man to school in the ways of love :) But I'm also sooooo happy for you!! Sexual healing keeps those 5th and 6th chakras in good working order hehehe. Here's keeping my fingers crossed for synched weekends.


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