I have mentioned before that I have a new friend with benefits. Ironically, he is the same man I spoke of in this post on having a back-up plan. It was totally not planned...in an "on purpose" kind of way. The universe just works in weird ways like that.
His name starts with a "T" too. So together, we're "TNT". Dynamite, right?
We're certainly working on it!
He has only been divorced since February from an emotionally abusive and dominating wife of 10 years. He is also the youngest son of a Marine Drill Sergeant. Those things may not be a big deal to most but this guy? He's an affectionate, loving and sensitive man. He has been through quite a bit and his focus is on becoming his own man. He is on his own "Quest for T", if you will.
We started this whole thing during a simple conversation where I mentioned the disappointing weekend with Soldier. He was talking about dating and not meeting the right girls. I jokingly said something about not getting into a relationship but only having a sex friend. He laughed and said something like "yeah, great idea."
Then we both stopped laughing and looked at each other.
Apparently, I have now become the teacher to a very willing student.
Unfortunately, he has been brainwashed and degraded to a point of being nearly virginal. He is comfortable with me. I am comfortable with me too. And my sexuality.
He is affectionate, caring, sensitive, SO sweet and willing to do whatever I ask.
I am open, nurturing, encouraging and willing to do whatever it takes.
Sexual healing really is a good thing!
He has actually asked me to help him become a great lover. Well, my friends, that's a challenge I'm willing to accept. Besides, when do we get the chance to groom a lover to be exactly what we want them to be?
Its been fun for me....maybe because its safe. My friends and I have joked that I should be a sex therapist. I am such a sexual person and I think our sexuality should be celebrated, not hidden away.
I am getting more confident about asking for what I want. I'm allowing the dominance to come back out, but in a gentle way. I am also learning to be in the present moment instead of thinking ahead and wondering what is going to happen next. The experience is helping me to shed some of the emotional baggage I've held around sex for so long.
This is the first relationship, casual, no-strings-attached, with benefits, that I've ever experienced. And I think I have a perfect partner!
So far, I have lit the fuse on this dynamite and the sparks are definitely flying!
Now if only we could get our custody weekends synched up!! Sheesh!