Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Velvet AND Steel

Back in January, I wrote a post about my melancholy temperament. I was pretty amazed at how spot on the assessment of my temperament was. I also mentioned that I frequently wear a sanguine mask.

(Note: for more information on temperaments and to take a free test, go here. It's not the most comprehensive test but it will give an idea. You can also read more about the 4 temperaments in this book and this one too.)

The CEO here at work is the one who initially peaked my interest in temperaments and personalities. He reads and studies personalities like a man possessed. He helps me assess our HR needs by the tasks the new hire will be performing and their temperament. It is amazing to see how it works.

So, after much deliberation about me, he told me yesterday that he thinks that I'm 75-80% melancholy and 20-25% sanguine (with maybe a little phlegmatic). The closest explanation to what this looks like is captured here in the description of a MelSan. And here too.

Anyway, I digress.

Due to my melancholy quest for detailed knowledge, I could easily get lost in studying this stuff!

His latest project is to try and determine what sort of temperament would suit me best as a partner. His analysis?

A sanguine-choleric (SanChlor).

The ex was probably a choleric-phlegmatic (ChlorPhleg).

Soldier was a choleric-sanguine (ChlorSan). Ooooo, SO close!

Basically, I need the sanguine traits of a man who is sweet, kind, laid-back, outgoing, fun, loving and optimistic. But also the choleric traits of a man who is self-sufficient, strong-willed, practical, confident and goal-oriented.

I need the Velvet and the Steel.

I guess I'm used to being the one who takes care of things. From childhood to parenthood... its who I am. After thinking about this "perfect temperament match", I almost want to cry.

What I wouldn't give for someone that I could trust to take care of me!

It's definitely an interesting thought to ponder. Now I can see how Soldier won me over with his dominance and strength. I at least know that those traits turn me on.

I suppose we'll see who'll be the next partner in my life. And how I'll react to him. My hope is that it will be easy and a perfect fit. Those "perfect fits" have happened to me so many times in other relationships... from girlfriends to guyfriends. Surely, that'll translate into a new love in my life too.


I also saw something recently that made me smile. I've written before about the terms "falling" in love and "rising up" in love.

Falling... of course meaning that there's a bottom that you'll hit at some point and there's fear involved.

Rising up... meaning that you're both becoming better people by joining together in love.

I saw something that clarified my goal even more! It said, (I'm paraphrasing):

No one has all the power to give you love or take it from you. They only have the power to SHARE love with you. But you have to KNOW this love in you before you can share it with others.

Wow. I love that.


So, my want ad should read this way:

Wanted: Man of Steel and Velvet to share myself and my love with. Being kinky helps too! Interested?

What do you think? Should I take it online?



  1. I absolutely LOVE the part about rising up in love. Brilliant!!

  2. I think introspection is awesome, and examining your own traits is great for personal growth. I'd caution, though, if you start trying to articulate the perfect traits in a partner. Chemistry is felt by the whole body, in person, not articulated by the mind.

  3. I'll definitely take the test. The more you know about yourself and those you enter into relationships with the better. So relevant to my post today too.


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