The ex has brought something to my attention that I'd never considered before. When he has the girls and they have to go to the restroom, he can't go in after them. Its really too bad that more places don't have family restrooms.
If you were a woman and saw a dad come in a public restroom to find his daughters, would you be offended?
I had to go check out that website I've seen advertised on billboards all over town. You know the one with the famous faces and the words I Am Second? Maybe its a local thing? Anyway, its apparently a very well designed religious website (and marketing plan) where people tell their stories of hardship and how they found God.
I had to check out the story of local baseball hero Josh Hamilton because of two reasons:
1) I love baseball, especially the Texas Rangers.
2) Duh. He's hot.
3) Ok, I knew he'd had a difficult time in life and had fought back to be a baseball champion.
One of the things I found interesting about his story was that he turned to drugs, alcohol and tattoos to give him the same high he felt when playing baseball in front of a huge crowd of adoring fans.
It occurred to me: Could tattoos essentially be along the same lines as cutting?
You know, where people cut themselves for a pain/pleasure experience? Hmmm...
He's still hot though.
Since I was home again today with a sick child, I thought I'd move my hair appointment to today vs. tomorrow. I was in dire need of a hair cut. It was also good to get Rose out of the house.
I've gone to the same stylist since I was pregnant with Grace. She was having similar issues with her husband as I was during my pregnancy. She fought and fought and finally, about a year ago, decided to file for divorce.
I've seen her twice since then and both times she complained about how her ex was cheating, not working, stealing, lying, drinking and being an absent father to their teenage children. She was glad to be moving forward but still wrapped up in the drama of filing for divorce and dating.
Today, she told me that they are reconciling.
I asked if things were any better. She sighed and shook her head. When I asked about his drinking she said,
"Well, he's still an alcoholic. He said when I filed for divorce, he got drunk every day. Seven days a week. Now he only drinks about 3 or 4 days a week."
As I left, I began to ponder other friends in similar situations. Marriages that are already over. Spouses moved out. Issues not even in the beginning stages of getting resolved. Barely speaking to each other...but they're trying to reconcile.
Who am I to judge?
I am certainly not in her shoes but part of me wonders if the reconciling is for convenience or because she didn't want to be lonely anymore.
Suddenly I felt that divorce isn't such a cowardly way out, as some people say. It seems like it takes major courage to decide to be alone instead of staying in a loveless place. Without even trying to bring the love back. Resigned to it, I suppose.
Then there's that horrible feeling of loneliness when you're actually lying next to someone.
I only know my own personal story. I may not have someone to snuggle up to every night but I do feel loved and happy. I'm also very grateful that the ex is dealing with his struggles and I am dealing with my own. We're more respectful to each other as well because we're no longer blaming each other for our unhappiness.
Our divorce was worth it. And actually... so was our marriage.
Tonight on the drive home from picking up Grace, we heard "Shock the Monkey" by Peter Gabriel.
Grace was singing it after we got out of the car.
"Chocolate Monkey. CHOCOLATE MONKEY. Chocolate Monkey. CHOCOLATE MONKEY."
Peter Gabriel would be shocked!