"Do you think someone can condition themselves to only have an "O" (orgasm) when they are masturbating? The reason I ask this is because I have pleasured myself for a long time before I ever started having sex. I have been married for 8 years and I do not think I have ever had an O when my husband and I have had sex.
I love my husband and we are starting to experiment a little. My body will only allow me to do so much being that I am overweight. I am hoping to get this extra weight off and hoping that will help me to become a better sexual partner with my husband."
I think that her goal should be to find the same comfort with her husband as she has alone.
Many of us are ashamed of our sexuality or our bodies and therefore cannot relax enough to orgasm with someone else. All of us have some sort of sexual hangup. My previous blog post was a prime example.
She mentioned wanting to lose weight and that’s a good overall plan. But I think she can still be a good sex partner with her husband now.
I think she could get into an exercise routine that helps her to feel sexy, feminine and beautiful. Belly dancing or salsa are both good for bringing out our fun, feminine side. Or anything that just feels good to her body.
I also recommended the book Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex. (Nina is the best!)
I think most importantly, we should all remember this:
No matter what we look like or what shape we’re in, when we are lost in pleasure, we glow in beauty and sexiness!
Don't you agree?
What do you think? Have you experienced this with your partner? Do you think masturbation desensitizes us from enjoying our partners?