Thursday, January 22, 2009

A second date?

After my first date with Trainer, I was dreading going out with him again. It felt awkward to talk to him over the phone. I was remembering how irritated he seemed at his dating history and his exes. I remembered the very strange ending to our date.

And it was my weekend with the kids.

I called my mother to spend the day with us. We took the kids to see a movie and she offered to watch them for me, if I wanted to go out with Trainer. I didn't really want to go but the phone was ringing and it was him, calling to make a final plan for the evening.

My mom always says that it was the times she didn't want to go somewhere that she had the most fun.

So, I told him I'd meet him for yet another movie.

We decided to see Marley and Me. I was thankful for the movie so that we didn't really talk much. Neither of us touched each other this time. I was definitely not going to show interest in anything other than friendship. I was going to let him be the man!

After the afternoon movie, we decided to go to dinner. Oh! One thing that I've neglected to mention about our first and second dates....

On both dates, we ate at restaurants, at his suggestion, where I had last dined with Soldier.

I had literally not stepped foot in either restaurant since eating there with Soldier. Talk about ghosts and weird coincidences!!

This time, I was pleasantly surprised. Trainer and I were both moved by the movie and our conversation flowed effortlessly over dinner. I was happy to be creating another memory at this restaurant so that I could "record over" the previous one.

We walked around the shops again and made our way to a chocolate shop for some hot cocoa. I didn't have much time as I needed to get back home. He seemed much more relaxed and even joked around about some of my forwardness from our first date. I was more toned down and not nearly as forward as I had been before. I was resigned to whatever would happen.

He walked me to my car and enveloped me in a huge hug. He was looking at me as if he wanted to kiss me. I gave him a friendly quick peck on the lips, nothing fancy, and bid him farewell.

I think it has been a very long time since Trainer has dated someone. We did have a good time and it would be fun to go out again.

The "click" wasn't there. I can certainly see that we could be great friends who get together once in a while. We do enjoy talking to each other. I'm not sure we'd be great at dating each other though.


I am surprised at this because I have never really dated before. My experience has been to meet, connect with, get to know someone and then go out on dates. Trainer and I didn't really know each other prior to our first date, hence the awkwardness.

I now see that in order to decide whether or not someone is dateworthy, you should definitely go out on more than one date. (Unless the first date was horrendous!)

I guess this single girl's learning more and more about how to be a single girl.


  1. I can totally relate to this line
    "My experience has been to meet, connect with, get to know someone and then go out on dates."

    That is my "dating" life. I don't think I have just met someone, been asked to go on a date and said yes.

    Now I am thinking that the guy I met on New Years should probably be given a chance. LOL

  2. I'm the opposite. I've been on so many dates that were set ups and it IS hard to get a read after one meeting! A second date needs to follow if there is any potential, but after that it gets awkward if you find no "click".

    Interesting outcome though. BTW I gave you a mention in my latest post! Thanks T!

  3. I'm glad you went and that you had a nice time. Re-recording over otherwise bitter experiences is a good ability to have; it's not the place's fault that it ended up wrapped in a bad personal memory.

    You know yourself and what it is you need and don't need. Companionship at all levels is basic. It doesn't always have to be sweep-me-off-my-feet romantic to still fulfill an apsect of your life. Just as long as you're both on the same page, no harm done!

    Have a great Friday, T! Be well.

  4. I agree, it's always a good idea to go out twice unless someone makes you itch! I am not looking for a friend, so if eventually the sparks don't fly, I'm not interested in continuing...but sometimes you just don't know for a while. And yes, sometimes you know right away.

  5. I think a second date puts doubts to rest - either way: move on or keep going out, at least for Date #3. Ah, so much to learn all over again! Good for you, though, to give it a shot.

    Have a great weekend, T.

  6. I never knew how to date either. (thank goodness for eharmony)

  7. Oh, T, I adore you!! I love the innocence in this post.

    Yes, learning how to date is a skill! It's about boundaries, opening up (but not too much, too fast), listening to yourself... and having FUN.

    I'm still learning, too.

  8. Well, if there's no "click" on date number two, I'm guessing there will be no third-date sex on date number... oh, you do the math!

    The dating game is a game! Have fun with it.

  9. "My experience has been to meet, connect with, get to know someone and then go out on dates."
    Wow this is completely opposite to the way I date I can't even fathom. I'm a feet first type of guy and the relationship either sinks or swims. For me there is no other extra stuff to cloud my decisions. The woman is only being judged on dating status.

  10. When I saw the word DREAD...I immediately knew how you felt. Whenever I get that feeling, I should just listen to myself and JUST SAY NO! Life is too short to go out with dweebs! It's nice to hear that you got caught up on your movie going. Could he not come up with anything more original than that? Any guy that dates you should have better game than that!

    Happy Weekend to you!

  11. So right there with you. I feel like I am in some kind of dating training camp, building up some seriously atrophied muscles. I keep trying to remember that no experience is a wasted one... you live, you learn, you gather more information that gets you deeper in touch with yourself and what you want out of dating, relationships, etc.

    So way to go for continuing to put yourself out there and keep an open mind.

  12. I've always just kind of "met" people. Have only dated a few times since my divorce and thankfully rarely did the "go on a date" was more like, I got to know them and then we headed out for an easy meal.


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