I'm feeling pretty good right now. My grief comes and goes. I'm trying not to let external situations determine whether or not I am at peace but I..am..still..human.
So, I'll go easy on myself and be happy with my current state of mind until I'm blindsided by sadness again.
Thank you all for listening.
For those two or three of you that have been reading here for over a year, you will recall that I decided to take up cycling around this same time in 2008.
When I go back and read that first cycling post now, it seems like a completely different person. Funny how a 160 mile/two day biking tour can transform you from amateur to near pro! (not that I'm nearly even that!)
The 160 mile ride was my goal last year. My goal this year? A triathlon.
I definitely have the cycling bit down. The running? Check!
Now I've been swimming since I was a youngster. I grew up on boats, camping and swimming in the lake. I am a certified scuba diver. I've been diving on the Great Barrier Reef!
But swimming laps in an Olympic sized pool scares the crap outta me!
I'm not sure I was ever trained on how to swim laps. I also definitely don't get much practice swimming with two little girls either. The past 7 years or so, I've been perfectly content sitting under a shade canopy or on the steps of the pool with a margarita - while my little ones are swimming and/or bobbing around me.
And now... my first try at a tri is 2 1/2 weeks away.
I only have to swim 10 minutes. No biggie, right?
It is not until June that I have to do an entire 1/2 mile swim.
Then I continue with a 12 mile bike ride and a 3 mile run before I'm done.
I not only have to get used to this swimming thing but also doing 3 different fitness activities in a row.
No time like the present to start preparing for that!
Tonight I decided to try swimming for the first time.
"I can do this." I told myself. "After all, Soldier, who freakin' does the Ironman, never even learned how to swim til he was 30 years old. I can do this."
It was rough. I was coughing and sputtering and looking like I was drowning.
I stopped to rest briefly, maybe a minute here and there, but otherwise swam for 25 minutes straight.
My arms are so sore!
But I am very proud of myself. Maybe the more I do it, the less panicked I will be. Maybe the less panicked I am, the more efficient swimmer I will be.
I sure hope so.
Still, I think it's time to take swim lessons.