Thursday, February 26, 2009
Dating woes, plans and being adored
My feelings over the past week or so have swayed from peaceful to hopeful to downhearted and desolate to hopeful and accepting again.
But I'm also doing my best to accept myself however I'm feeling. I'm starting to notice the impermanence of these feelings so I'm not clinging too tightly to any of them.
Besides, I suppose this is normal since I still don't know what the hell is going on in my love life.
I have gone out with a few guys that I met online.
One was completely enthralled with my spirituality. We talked on the phone and in person... only about spirituality.
He never asked a single question about anything but my spirituality.
Then he sent me an enthusiastic email the next day saying I was so "enlightened" and that we should go out again!!!
Since then I've received one text... on Valentine's day... wishing me a Happy Valentine's Day.
I went out with another guy but there were no sparks.
I was nearly bored during our lunch date until he began asking about the TV shows my daughters watched with me.
Him: My son just really enjoys the old TV show, Leave it to Beaver.
T: Yeah? That's a good wholesome family show.
Him: Oh yes it is! I record it and when I have my son, we watch a few episodes together before bed. *sigh* Yep, he just LOVES the Beaver!!
I... couldn't.... resist...
Wait for it....
T: *smiles* Yeah, most boys do love the beaver.
It actually took him a few seconds before he realized what I'd said. Forget it, from then on the conversation was nothing but sex. He wanted to know everything I'd ever done sexually.
(Heh. I said "but sex".)
And yes, maybe I was acting out. (who me?) I was bored.
He texted me last week (two weeks after our lunch date) asking me to a movie over the weekend.
WTF?! What happened to picking up the phone?
I ignored his text until mid-day Saturday and then I texted that I already had plans.
I have a few more prospects lining up online. We'll see.
I also have a blind date planned with a friend of one of my fellow A Course in Miracles students. We're double dating so there won't be too much pressure. She's convinced that I will love him. I'm looking forward to that.
It would just be nice to have someone be interested in all facets of me, not just one side. I am so much more than spiritual or sexual.
I spent time last weekend with a wonderful old friend. And I had a really sweet conversation last week with Pickle Boy.
After talking with those two men, the realization occurred to me....
I know exactly how I choose to be treated by my next special someone.
I choose to be adored.
It may sound like a lot to ask for but seriously... most of the people in my life adore me. Even my ex-husband treats me with love, compassion and adoration.
Why shouldn't I receive the same treatment from my next companion?!
Over the weekend, my friend sat with me, listened to me, gave me his complete attention, held me, stared into my eyes and said to me, "You know that I love you and would do anything in the world for you, right?"
On the phone with PB last week, I was confiding about my dating woes. My sweet Pickle said to me, "T, you are an amazing woman and I can't imagine you would have any trouble at all in finding someone that sees just how amazing you are. I love talking to you. It's so refreshing! You are awesome."
I am already blessed with much love and adoration from friends and family in my life.
I choose the same adoration from a kind, gentle, open-hearted special someone.
That's not too much to ask, is it?
Because that is exactly what I would offer as well.
We only get what we give away...