Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Gluteus Maximus: Its a beautiful thing

With today being Mardi Gras (and you can't take da Louisiana outta da girl), I dedicate this post to all those that showed some skin. Hope the doubloons were worth it!

I watched as my girlfriend stood in front of the mirror and frowned at her back side. She sighed and then noticed me looking at her.

Embarrassed, she admitted, "My butt is just so... huge."

"Girl!" I said in admiration, "Don't you know that ass is in?"

I used to do the same thing. I'd see myself in the mirror during the warrior yoga poses and wish that I had a smaller rear.

Why are we so hard on ourselves?!?

It wasn't until I dated an "ass man" that I truly began to appreciate my own back side.... and quite frankly, the rest of my body as well.


Since I was about 15 years old, I have been attracting "boob men". I always assumed this was my best asset and therefore wore\still wear my fair share of low cut tops or turtlenecks. I think most of us, as women, have a part of our body that seems to be the one part that gets the most attention.

Still, I remember that first night with my ass man. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and I was standing in front of him. We had already been kissing on my couch for well over an hour and decided to move things up to the next level. My experience, at this point in the make out session, was that my top would come off, then the bra and hands would be lifting my nipples to waiting lips.

This time it was different.

He slid his hands down my backside and cupped my cheeks, fingers gripping tightly. Through gritted teeth, he panted in my ear, "I've been waiting all night to get my hands on this ass!"

What?! Really?

Over time, he helped me to build an appreciation for the derriere - mine and others. I've now noticed that one of my favorite parts of a woman is her rear. And forget it, if she has a small waist that curves down sensually into wide hips and a full plump ass, I am completely taken.

Don't feel left out, men.

A man with a butt that sits up just mmmm...like on a pedestal.... you know who you are. You runners or cyclists out there or those of you with a naturally good ass. Yeah, you do it for me too.


I had to share this poem, written by one of my favorite sexy girl bloggers, Vix at The Over-Educated Nympho.

I loved this poem because Vix points out that this girl with the nice ass may not have a clue that she looks as good as she does (see how we have no idea what is attractive to others?).

A Poem of Appreciation, Dedicated To That Fine Ass

Tonight (so chilly!) I bundled up and went to the store
In desperate need of dog food and more
With a grocery cart full of microwave meals
I ran into a girl and nearly squealed
My feet stopped mid-flight
Everything about her was totally right
GodDAMN that girl has a nice ass
I thought to myself while I passed
So round, so full, so BIG
It put mine to shame, really it did

I stared and I stared, and I stared some more
Ba boom ba boom ba boom it shook down to the floor
A big booty like that can rock yoga pants
Besides that it put me in a trance
So plump, so pert, so perfectly proud
I couldn’t help but feel Wow‘ed
This is no size 2 chica, no skin and bones
Call her the Big Booty Badass and give her a throne
Her hair was dirty blonde (not my type)
But with an ass like that does it matter what she looks like?
I turned to glimpse at my fair-haired lass
Yowza, she’s got more than a fine ass!

No make-up, a plain and lovely face
With a nice meaty body, sexy with grace
Her clothes were comfortable, made for not trying
In her cart was Whoppers candy (I swear I’m not lying!)
How delightful to see a curvy chick who rocks her big booty
As a normal sized girl–don’t see those on TV–it’s her duty
Does she know how good she looks? Has she a clue?
I suspect not, yet she could write a How-To
As I left I vowed to write a poem full of sass
Dedicated to that fine rockin’ ass.


So girls, if there's a part of your body that you think is too big or too whatever, don't fret. I guarantee there's someone out there who appreciates it. (I had to keep up the rhyme.)

Be PROUD of your body. Work it girl!

And when you work it, they can't help but take notice! Ba boom!

Ass men!! Speak up! The floor is yours!

Photos of gorgeous nudes came from here.


  1. Well by god I am an ass man old school!!!
    I mean don't get me wrong I like all of a woman, damn I do, but if shes got a good ass I can over look things, like
    lack of teeth
    a shaved head
    face tattoos
    one eye in the middle of her forehead
    3 boobs
    lil things like that I can over look, if shes got a good ass!

    Sadly, my ass has never been on my top 25 best features!

  2. "Big Booty Badass" - thank god I have a new nickname!

    Yeah, I'm trying to love my larger than life rear (particularly because I don't have much to balance up top), but I have to say: it has gotten me compliments.

    I guess I'll take them wherever I can!

    Cool photos, too.

    Thanks, T!

  3. I attract boob men too :) I love my boobs and love that they love them too!

    I have no bum *sigh* it bugs me sometimes cos I like a nice bum but mine is well non-existant!

  4. I'm sorry, did you write something here? I was a little distracted by all the photos.

    Love the tribute to the "fat bottom girls"; we really do make the rockin world go round.

    There are SO many songs written about the booty! So it must be appreciated by many.

  5. Funny. Beautiful. Somehow, I can still fill a pair of perfectly-fitting jeans nicely, even if nicknamed "bony-butt"...

    Be well, T. :)

  6. I think it's absolutely true that there is always someone out there who will appreciate your body parts for just what they are.

    I've never been complimented before on my "lumberjack legs". I hate them! I would consider them likely my worst feature. But you know what? The new man in my life absolutely LOVES my legs, and is sure to tell me all the time. It's really helped me gain a new appreciation for this particular body part....

  7. I'm with MindyMom -- were there words on this post? Breathe, breathe. Dang, T, those women from Louisiana know how to distract....

    What I love about kickboxing is what it has done to my ass... But I have say that a guy's ass is key for me, too.

  8. I've always been an ass man! I like a woman who works out a bit, and a nice ass just gets me every time.

  9. I have to admit something here...umm...

    ...I like big butts and I cannot lie. I mean, all those other brothers can't deny. 'Cause when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face...you just get sprung.

    I could go on, but just know that I thoroughly believe that the female form is a beautiful thing. Toothpicks do nothing for me.

    Curves are good.

  10. Yum!! Love the pics! I love the female form - all of it!
    Great poem, thanks for sharing.


  11. Well after your lovely ode to asses, I know what I won't be giving up for lent!

  12. Yikes! Some very nice butt pics.
    I'm a butt gal myself. I work mine hard to keep it firm, and appreciate when a man has a nice firm bum, too.
    Does that make me, um, an ass?
    Eh, whatever ...

  13. *reaches for a pen and jots down, "Quest for T Blog - Do not check while in the office."*

    *cough* Well, it's fair to say that I'm fan of the female body. The curve from thigh to hip to waist is ...perfect. I've learned to appreciate asses more as of late but I'm a sucker (er, no pun intended) for a great set of breasts. Good GOD. Selma Hayak makes me go blind from happiness.

  14. Great essay and fantastic views! There isn't anything about a woman's body that I don't like. My favorite part of a woman's body is the brain.

  15. Dude, if we ever meet in person I'm so going to tell you, "NICE ASS!"



  16. What a lovely tribute to the female form - please don't kill me, but I now for some reason have "Baby Got Back" stuck in my head! :)

  17. How about hands on your ass and waiting lips (mouths) for your breasts all at the same time? Is that doable? One motion. ;-0


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