One of the things I love about yoga is a phrase that my best friend/yoga teacher uses quite a bit: Yoga meets you where you are.
What this means is that you needn't force yourself into bending like a pretzel. Honor your body where it is now and over time, you will begin to see results.
My friend D said the same thing about A Course in Miracles... it meets you where you are.
No matter what your spiritual or religious views are, you can always find something that you will relate to in the Course and over time, you will find that you've uncovered more of Who You Really Are. In doing that, you smile more. You stop taking life so damn seriously. (I can get there. Sometimes.)
Funny, in the past week or so, and with all the mess with Soldier and my trying to force it to be what I want it to be, I've realized:
Love meets you where you are too.
I've read so much in the past year on how to attract my soulmate into my life, how to communicate with and understand men, how to move on from a broken relationship, how to avoid broken men, how to be the perfect woman for any man... its terribly exhausting to try to be any of these things if they are not who I am.
Don't get me wrong, each of those things has helped me in some way to understand a bit more what motivates me. I am actually more aware of my relationship habits than I was previous to reading all of that self-help advice. I still go back to many of them just as a quick pick-me-up when I'm feeling especially lost in my feelings of loneliness.
But no matter what you know, you cannot pretend to be anything other than who you are.
Well, ok, you can try but you won't be honest with yourself nor the person you are trying to impress.
Believe me, I know from experience that trying to impress, does not look very impressive at all.
People will be attracted to you if you are comfortable with who you are. Either this person will fit that picture of you... or they won't. You can't force it to be anything other than what it is.
I don't have to try to be what Soldier may need right now, which is typically what I do when I want someone to like me. I did all of that during his weekend home on leave and you see where that got me!
I've now come to realize that in order for a real relationship to work, it has to be easy. It has to fit, like a perfect puzzle piece. It has to meet me, and accept me, right where I am right now.
And I have to offer that same acceptance to myself.
**After some comments I've realized it sounds like I'm saying that relationships should be easy. Neither yoga, spirituality nor relationships are easy, but they should not be painful. They will be challenging, in order for growth. But pain? Pain means you've pushed too far and you are not honoring who you are.**
When love does fit, it defies all plans, all logic, all choices that we made prior.
Both of you have to be in that same space, recognizing that light in each other. It cannot happen with only one or it does not happen at all.
In recognizing that light, in seeing each other beyond form, true love really shines. Our combined light, shared, can be as blinding as the brightest star.
Shine brightly, my friends. Even if it seems that no one is noticing.