Sunday, May 3, 2009

Spring Cleaning: Perpetual discontent

Over the weekend, I took the time to catch up on some spring cleaning. While cleaning my office, I came across the following poem.

Written by me on May 27, 1992 at 12:00 p.m.

On that date I was 22 years old and happily discussing marriage with the ex. We married in December of that same year.

But... you tell me, can you sense the loneliness I was already feeling?

The clouds crowd together
Loud thunder echoes in the canyons
Streams of great light are allowed to escape
Only to crash heavily upon the already desperate land.

Earth opens its arms
Inviting to the tiny droplets
Hoping to fill her despairingly
Hopeless need of quenching.

She stretches, reaching out to the heavens above...


What or how much
more can she take
before she is gone forever?

How can she fill the emptiness
that bestills the fires burning
deep inside her very core?

When will she finally
feel contented?

No more longing...
Nor more thirsting...
No more wanting...
Only peace.

Hmmmm... I could very well write the same thing now.

Perhaps I should simply choose peace now instead of waiting for it?

"Give me peace, love, peace, love, give me peace, love, and a hard cock."
~Tori Amos


  1. I am a firm believer that happiness (as a contentment - not the passionate kind) comes from within. As far as I am concerned, it's been a constant struggle and just like you I can find seeds of the same questioning in my early poems... it gets better though...

    I like your poem by the way.

  2. That poem...sounds eerily familiar to those I have written.

    Who we are--who we are created as--IS who we are. If we are created to long to be filled in deep and intense ways, that does not change until we know it.

    You and I--among others--HAVE NOT KNOWN IT. Or at least not in a form that lasts. Therefore, the ache and emptiness is still there. And it fucking sucks.

    We pray to know the end of the feeling, to be filled, to know peace and love...and a hard cock (great quote, btw)...but we know not if it will come to us or when.

    XOX, girl.

  3. It sounds like you were on your quest fot T, way back then. I am so glad that you are taking time for you.

    The poem is beautiful.

    Do you have any others words lying around somewhere, would love to read a few??

  4. I know the girl that used to write those poems! It reminded me of your song about Mother Earth with The Fuss! Hard to believe '92 was 17 long years ago, wow. Your poem was written about 6wks before my move to Ohio.

    Be happy with who you are, T.

  5. Finding peace and happiness with someone. Hmmm ... What a concept.

    I think, the harder thing to do? Is finding that with yourself.

    Hugs to you cookie.

  6. LOVE the Tori Amos quote!

    And the poem...yes, very telling. Like you I felt that many years ago as well as now.

    Peace. Love. Peace. Love...

  7. I like the "shape" of the poem - the outline it makes on the page. It looks like a woman to me.

  8. When you are at peace you will attract peace.
    Sounds like you were in a strange place for someone who was to embark on marriage the very same year.

  9. How cool that you found that poem, which is such a beautiful poem indeed. It sounds a lot like what I am feeling right now. Love the Tori quote.

  10. Very evocative poem, I can see the images in my mind. I am always jealous of people that can write well, I write music and can never come up with any lyrics.


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