On that date I was a 29 year old successful systems engineer at a large consulting company. I was also married for 6.5 years and cheating on my husband.
I'm not sure who I wrote this about.
It could have been my husband but something tells me that it wasn't. I could have been describing the man I was having an affair with. I could have also written this about my friend D. I don't recall anything in particular about that time in my life except that I felt very much in love with all three men.
Let me repeat that.
I was in love with three men.
It was also about this time that I started taking anti-depressants. Nuff said.
What amazes me, however, is that I was married and yet I wrote this as a list of traits that I would ask for now. I suppose that even then, I knew what I needed in a relationship.
But what was so wrong that I didn't acknowledge the relationship I was already in?
I also love the "remember" part... that I was on a quest to find myself, even then. I suppose the quest for T is ongoing and always has been.
What I love...
- Not just pacifying but willing to work with me through whatever's bothering me
- Real - no game playing
- Allows me to be me
- Is genuinely interested in what makes me who I am
- Is genuinely interested in my likes and dislikes
- Wants to help me in my search to be whole but understands my weak times and weaknesses
- Listens to me
- Appreciates my everything: spirituality, personality, intelligence, sensitivity, strength
- You can't be everything to anybody or everybody - ONLY yourself!!!
- Find your peace within. No one else can do it for you OR give it to you.
- Your peace is your strength
- You WILL be okay!!!