When I'm not feeling well, like the past few days, I tend to get very depressed.
I mean, when does a working single mom get to be sick?
The entire time I'm lying in bed, I'm thinking "I should be working" or "I should be doing laundry" or "I should be paying bills" or "I should go get the kids".
I need to stop shoulding on myself!
All that I really wanted was for someone to take care of me, do those things for me or at least tell me that everything would be ok.
I guess we all go through times when we feel victimized or resentful of our situations.
But it passes. Right?
There is a lady that I work with who sways from playing the victim to playing the hero with no in-between!
I feel bad for her. She is an unmarried, 59-year-old, miserable cat-lady.
The thing is, I think you can be an unmarried, 59-year-old, happy cat-lady, can't you?
She just isn't. She sucks energy out of a room and drags everybody down. The guys who office near her say that she's either complaining or talking like she knows everything.
She always wants to be right.
I wish I could help her but I can barely tolerate being around her too. I can't stand when she comes in my office because she won't detect the social cues of "Ok, the conversation is over now." Instead she will stand there and stare at me until I actually say, "Ok, the conversation is over now. I need to get back to work."
She takes everything personally. She will literally walk the office and tell everyone when something good happens to her (like if she has a date) or if something bad happens to her.
I know she's lonely. I realize she's miserable.
Oh my goodness. I do my best to be nice to everyone but I don't know how to handle this.
But my wanting to help her.... doesn't that make me just like her? Wanting to be right too? Who am I to judge anyway?
Does my wanting to "fix" people really help anyone?
I suppose I have a difficult time because I can relate to her.
I have moments of loneliness. I have moments of misery. I have been known to take things personally. I have moments when I want to walk the office and brag about something wonderful that happened to me (like if I have a date). And when I'm having a difficult time, you can see it written all over my face.
The CEO comes into my office every day to tell me his "hero stories". He's very proud of how he runs the company and he likes to brag about it.
He recognizes this about himself. He understands that not everyone wants to hear it.
I actually ask him about them because I enjoy watching him light up.
I also don't mind being a sounding board for others when they are feeling lonely or miserable.
I think we all have moments of victimness or heroism.
But what do you do - or do you do anything - when someone is so stuck on one extreme or the other?
I suppose all that I can do is stop judging and recognize that she is nothing more than a reflection of myself.
Wanting someone to tell me that everything will be ok
Wanting to be right.
Victim or hero.