Thursday, July 16, 2009

A real man



Have you ever been treated like a real lady by a real man?


If you would have asked me this question before this man - whose strong arms are represented above - came into my life, I would have said, "Sure I have!"

I've dated men who opened the car door for me, bought me flowers and dinner.

But now, I'm learning that a southern gentleman takes things even further than that.

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I feel such a sense of mutual respect when I'm with Gentleman Jack.

When he was in town last weekend, I drove us everywhere. I live here and knew where we were going.

Every time we walked to my SUV, he would come to the driver's side, open the door, and help me into the driver's seat.

When we went to dinner, he insisted on pulling out my chair, sitting in the man seat*, ordering the wine, asking what I wanted and ordering for me. He showed exquisite dinner etiquette, even pointing out things that I never knew about fine dining.

He was very attentive when we were out, be it at a bar, restaurant, or clothing store. Upon admitting that he was in from out of town, he would be asked, "What are you in town for?'

Each time, his answer would be to point to me and say, "How could I not travel out of town for this?"

Then he would pull me into his arms and kiss my cheek or forehead.

He listens to me, completely aware of my thoughts, changes in facial expressions and body language. He responds with genuine concern for me.

He calls me "ma'am"... something I'll admit, took some getting used to. He answers questions with "yes, ma'am" or "no, ma'am".

He has a sweet southern drawl , uses phrases like "dad gum" and doesn't curse around me. (I'm trying to break him of this. Hee hee!)

He is gentle, protective and caring.

He calls me nicknames like "sweet pea" and "punkin".

And most amazing of all:

He treats everyone with the same respect with which he treats me.

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This Gentleman Jack is completely raising the bar for the next guy to come into my life.

Damn straight!

I never thought much of being treated in this manner. I'm not even sure I would have taken a man like this seriously before. I am an independent, self-sufficient woman. My mom raised me this way. Even my own dad reinforced the belief that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.

I wasn't raised to depend on a man.


Well I've learned that men just want to be the man. Because when they feel that way, they're empowered to nurture and respect you too.


We should all be treated with such dignity. We deserve it.

The best part of it is that I, for the first time in my life, agree with that last line.


What does the term "real man" mean to you?

Since being single, have you looked at the opposite sex differently than before?



*apparently, it is crucial that all men sit facing the door.

22 comments:

  1. That's pretty dang sexy. And I don't just mean the picture. But the picture's pretty dang sexy, too. :)

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  2. Ooooh! That is one tasty-looking MAN you got going on there!

    You know, being a gentleman--a real one, a consistent one--is highly desirable. Not enough guys know what it means to be one or how to do it. Which is a flat-out shame.

    To me a man is someone who knows what he wants, who lives for and loves more than himself, and who acts his true age--not the one that he wishes he still was. This is pretty abbreviated, but it touches a few of the things that define what a man is to me.

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  3. I think that being a gentleman shows a good upbringing, which means he's a keeper.

    And the photo isn't bad either xx

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  4. Damn, T, those are some beautiful arms I could get lost in...and not to mention that he is a gentleman too.

    WOW WOW WOW

    I agree he is a keeper. OMG, T, did you see that picture, WOW!!!!

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  5. That is totally sexy... the arms and the behaviour that goes with them.

    As I get older, ironically, I am becoming more comfortable with the idea of a "real" man. I am independent and strong and all that, but there is nothing better than being treated by a lady.

    The one thing that gets me the most about the real man I'm with right now is how he always listens so attentively to everything I say. That shows confidence and it's so sexy!

    And of course, the arms, and the hands, and how he uses them to show his affection... that is also a sign of a "real" man.

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  6. LOL

    Remember that conversation we had months ago where I told you what I thought your physical type was?

    ;-)

    Just sayin'...

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  7. You have much to be grateful for.

    "Real Man" means to me that I don't have to fall into a category like "Real Man", I can be whoever I want to be and it does not have to fit into some stereotypical thoughts of what a real man is.

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  8. Oh my, this reminds me much of Irishman. He was the same way in all of these aspects. It's just ... sexy. Totally 100% sexy.

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  9. There is nothing hotter - well, almost nothing hotter* - than a man who WANTS to be and IS the man in every sense. You and I have talked about how as strong women, sometimes it's hard to find a man who does those things like taking the lead but in a respectful and considerate way. It's always those "little things" that mean so much.

    And did you know there is a "man side" of the sidewalk to walk on? Yep, he's on the outside, closest to the street.

    *like feeling those arms around you. ;)

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  10. Maybe if I promise not to give my next man a naughty nickname, then Karma will see fit to give me one of these southern beaus? Did you hear that, Karma??

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  11. I'm a feminist, but I love when a man treats me the way Rascal treats you. And I love a man who is good to other people, as well!

    Rascal definitely sounds like a real man! I'm so happy I have one, too!

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  12. Tonya: Great post again! I kinda stumbled upon aspects of being THE MAN here:

    http://choicemomchoosing.blogspot.com/2009/05/so-much-depends-upon.html

    I actually do agree - women need to let men BE THE MAN!!!! Man need this to feel empowered and so much more, and when we (women) try to do everything for ourselves, it strips men of this essential ingredient....

    But I'm curious as to why you said Rascal is raising the bar for the NEXT guy? Is your heart already made up that there will be a NEXT guy? Are you sure its NOT Rascal????

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  13. Ohh that Rascal! Nice guns!

    I think that a real man means a man with integrity, honor and respect. Respect for himself, for others and for the world around him. A real man does the things you spoke about, isn't afraid to show emotion and own up to his faults, strengths and mistakes.

    A real woman is all of these things too.


    I like what Matt said and I second that.

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  14. Hmmm

    (sigh)

    Look at those arms ...

    Is he married?

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  15. To answer your question: No, I have never been treated like a real lady by a real man.

    And I'm plenty glad for that!

    Ha. Glad you're having fun. Enjoy the weekend.

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  16. Okay, why the heck aren't you two just making this whole thing a go? Forget the distance, moving is always an option. It sounds like he is everything you have been looking for in a man, so I don't understand what the hold up is?

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  17. Yikes, I didn't realize that he might be married, guess that could explain why you are not together. Whoops, my bad.

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  18. Thank you all for these fun comments!

    And for the record, NO, Rascal is not married. Heh.

    There is more to this than the distance. I am sure I'll blog it later.

    He's a wonderful man. We are truly enjoying each other.

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  19. Way to go T. Sounds like you're moving to more peaceful place.

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  20. Nice arms!

    And the "man seat" thing cracks me up because I always want to sit in that seat myself. :)

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  21. Loved the comment about the Man Seat. My friend brought this to my attention on our first date when I mistakenly sat there. Guess I'd been the man and woman for way too long...LOL. Since then it has become quite the joke between us.

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