One of my girlfriends admitted to me the other day that she does not like giving blow jobs.
(Yes, it has been a while since I wrote about sex.)
A few of my male friends have also told me that they do not enjoy when a girl gives oral sex.
WTF?
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My girlfriend, and apparently lots of women, are not fond of the penis.
Coincidentally, a year ago at this time, I wrote that many women aren't even comfortable saying the word 'penis'.
She specifically told me that she thinks it is not a particularly attractive body part to look at. All the while she said this, her face showed a look of complete disgust.
"And to put your mouth on it?" She shivered in recoil.
Really?
I am certainly not chiding her for her thoughts or feelings on this. This was simply a topic we'd not discussed before. I began asking other people and found that many wives won't do it and many women simply prefer not to.
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A few of my male friends have told me that they cannot orgasm from oral sex.
Some men have told me that women do not know what they are doing and therefore, the act isn't always an enjoyable experience.
Is it just me that's thinking that you could always tell the person what you like?
Other men have told me that it is absolutely obvious that women do not like performing this act. Knowing that the gal isn't enjoying it, the man feels guilty and simply cannot get past it.
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I've had some men tell me that if a women does not like giving head, they can usually tell by simply observing her comfort level with men.
Wow.
I am curious of your thoughts on this, men and women.
You are certainly welcome to comment anonymously if you don't feel comfortable stating your *ahem* taste or distaste of fellatio.
And for a really fun read, check out wikipedia's explanation on Oral Sex.
Its pretty darn close to all you need to know.
My ex-husband did not like receiving blow jobs. But he LOVED giving oral sex, to the point where he forced me to come first every time or he would get mad. I know, doesn't sound like a problem. But I am a giver. And I looovvveeee giving blow jobs. Feels powerful. And delicious (except for one FWB who had a weird diet and always tasted really strong/sour!) Fortunately after 8 years of marriage I have spent the pst year honing that skill. Recommendations: flavored lube for taste AND to make your hand move more smoothly along the shaft. Communication. If the guy can't tell you what he wants, you are doomed. I had a good technique but my current guy is super sensitive and likes it much deeper than I am used to so that has been a big adjustment. But he gives as good as he gets, so I'm a happy girl. :-)
ReplyDeleteI am, at almost 37 years of age, one of "those men" who has never, ever reached orgasm by strictly receiving oral sex.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's not because I don't like it...I absolutely love it.
But for whatever reason, it's just never happened for me....
...yet. Heh.
I'll give but I won't receive. I just don't feel comfortable with a man all the way "down there" - its like there's an mile of space between us and I hate it. Plus I'm far more vaginal than clitoral so oral doesn't do much for me anyhow. As for a penis being gross? Pffffft. No way! I think twats are a zillion times more gross than a pecker!!!!! I can't imagine how on earth guys are hardwired to be turned on by twats - now THAT'S nasty!
ReplyDeleteWow. I've never heard of a man that didn't like getting a BJ! Nor did I know that some men can't orgasm that way but I guess it makes sense if some women don't either. I'm also interested in hearing what the men say on this one.
ReplyDeleteOk, so I don't exactly find the scrotum very attractive (esp if hair is not removed/trimmed) but cocks? Lovely! Fun! So many uses!
ReplyDeleteI enjoy oral sex - giving and taking. I've yet to come across the man who would turn down a blow job and I think I do it well. And I think most orgasmed during oral sex, but I haven't been keeping track. I've always thought that the visual is sometimes just as appealing as the feeling, so I'm quite, um...enthusiastic in my techniques, making sure I look up at my partner and make eye contact. Seems to work wonders.
Having said that, for the longest time I found oral sex to be more intimate than genital sex. I mean...it *is* my mouth. The whole "do you kiss your mamma with that mouth" idea.
I think I need to go masturbate now...
CBG, just relax. :) Hope it happens for you some day. My ex-husband never could, either and I finally gave up. He liked a little bit of contact but really wasn't into it and I felt discouraged that I couldn't get him there. That said, one problem with an older man is that if you finish him with your mouth, there's nothing left for your other bits. :( Boo! So sometimes I have to be a little selfish. LOL.
ReplyDeleteAww, Alicia, girl, you are missing out!! That said, I wish I could have vaginal orgasms. Sure, I can have a good G-spot orgasm with my vibrator but with a man? Nope. Only if they have great hand skills with a wicked tongue to boot. ;O
I LOVE giving blow jobs! Really I totally enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteAnd have never been with a man who hasnt enjoyed it or liked it? I have been with men who need a little more than oral stimulation to actually cum but it always gets a reaction :)
I have had a relationship where it just never happened tho - we both talked about it and the sex was AWESOME so it just never seemed needed in THAT relationship!
I had trouble giving the ex blowjobs, mostly due to a statement he made once that his ex gave him the best bj he'd ever had.
ReplyDeleteWith P, I enjoy giving him bjs, but my trouble is twofold, one: I'm not confident enough in giving them to know I'm doing a good enough job (despite having gotten him off multiple times) and two: he's a lot bigger than my ex, and I never really learned to deep throat or open my throat. I will say he's enjoying the practice!
Oral sex is definitely something I haven't done much of, giving or receiving. My ex rarely gave, and always wanted to receive. P is much more about getting me off, so I usually want to return the favor with him.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteInteresting post. I have been wondering this issue, so thanks for sharing. I will definitely be coming back to your blog.
London Escorts
Eeeesh. What with CBG and I BOTH commenting here, y'all are going to learn an awful lot about our sex life.
ReplyDeleteheh.
That said, I LOVE performing oral. LOVE!! I can (and have - even recently - wheeee!) done it for an extended length of time, simply enjoying the act of giving my partner so much pleasure (even if, at this point, he doesn't have an orgasm simply from oral -- yet -- heh.)
I also love being on the receiving end, which was something that I wasn't always - for a number of reasons - my partner being one of them. It's not enough, in my opinion, for one's partner to enjoy doing it, he needs to be particularly ...um..."talented" as well, which fortunately for me, mine IS.
I'm surprised to find out that a lot of women don't like giving or receiving oral. I feel like it's one of the most pleasurable and intimate acts that you can do for your partner.
So I guess we're not even going to get to the subject of, um, swallowing, now are we then????? hee hee hee
Great post, T!!!
if you can swallow raw egg and milk you can swallow anything..
ReplyDeleteChamp
giving oral sex is something I do because I know my man loves it. It doesn't necessarily turn me on (but that is not the point right?) The more turned on I already am the better my performance is
ReplyDeleteWe have a good balance because my hubby can get off that way (and did last night) but prefers that to be more of a warm up. works for us.
I recently went to a Slumber Party for the first time and they had this awesome product which temporarily numbs the gag reflex. We tried it with our finger-it really works!!
ReplyDeleteThat's really the only thing that slows me down when it comes to that particular act. It's not that I find the penis gross by any means, it's anything going that far back into my throat.
Well, damn T. You know how to wake up my morning at work!
ReplyDeleteI'm just going to say I completely enjoy giving to BOTH men and women, and have never had one NOT climax from my oral skills.
I also love being on the receiving end from both men and women. I have to tell the truth though...women are really far more talented at it. Sorry guys, y'all make it feel good, but every woman I have been with has better tecnique. :)
Just saying....
I love to give and get... and it is even better when both occur simultaneously!
ReplyDeleteI love oral sex. Oh my and with a partner that knows your body well? MMMMM ... can't ask for anything better. Giving, receiving, doesn't matter. It's ALL good. :)
ReplyDeleteOn a separate note, as much as I love oral sex, or hell who are we kidding, sex of any kind, I would much rather see a man in boxers or boxer briefs rather than just naked. I find that to be a completely sexy look. That gets me going before the actual removing of clothes.
I'm just not a fan of it at all. To me it's degrading and completely unappealing.
ReplyDeleteBut that's just me.
I'm one of those guys that has a hard time orgasming from BJ. And yes T a guy can tell when a woman isn't into it.
ReplyDeleteI love going down on a woman and helping her orgasm. When a woman goes down on me, though, she has to be good at it or I won't cum. This bothers some women - they think any guy will shoot his load from any amount of attention down there. Not so! Work on your technique, ladies. I've had some silky smooth jobs done on me that left me in heaven. I've had some poor quality bjs that left the women asking me "how much longer are you going to take?" To which I ask (silently) - "when are you going to learn to give a decent blowjob?"
ReplyDeleteThat's so funny! I JUST started a blog with this very topic. Of course, I had to start it anonymously... Good post!
ReplyDeleteNothing is more exciting for me than a lady who enjoys giving oral sex. That just drives me wild and I love watching and feeling at the same time.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, it is always very obvious if a lady is not really into the act, and it isn't worth pursuing at that stage, for me.
As a note, I absolutely love giving oral to a woman. I love to excite her and slowly build her to orgasm with my tongue and lips. Also, it is fun to incorporate a toy with the oral sensations.
Now that I am good and worked up......lol
Wow, this might be one of the most interesting commentaries I've ever seen resulting from a blog post.
ReplyDeleteI love getting head, but love eating pussy even more.
T: Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us and inviting us to comment. And the wikipedia definition was hilarious, especially the discussion about the utility of oral sex.
PT-LawMom: I am sorry that your ex made oral sex into a power trip.
CBG: Good luck cumming during oral. I do, and love it.
Alicia: Thanks for an honest comment (not surprising, considering your blog, which I just found). And by the way, you are adorable. As a red-blooded American male who loves cunnilingus, I am sorry to hear that you don’t find the act appealing or find the pussy to be pretty. I agree with your friends that cock isn’t attractive, but maybe that’s because I’m a guy. I look forward to reading your blog.
MindyMom: Wow, you are hot. I’m one of the guys who loves BJs and loves cumming while receiving one. Do you enjoy giving? Receiving?
BadMummynCookie: Hot comment. Happy Masturbating. Wish I could watch.
Laura: I love your enthusiasm for cock sucking and wish you lived nearby.
Lisa: Why the f—k would your ex have ever commented on his ex’s oral skills. Stupid him. And I’m smiling about P’s size. Good luck practicing your deep throat technique. How much bigger is he?
Indiana Girl: Where do we buy the gag reflex numbing agent?
Vixen Kitten: Well said, and I bet you taste delicious.
Jen: My favorite number is 69 too.
Come read my blog and e-mail me at ronald10021@yahoo.com
When I first started having sex, I wasn't interested in oral sex at all. But that changed when I met my husband.
ReplyDeleteI think it all depends on the man, if you truly feel comfortable with him.
Thats my.02
Tonya: Great topic as usual - these comments are really interesting!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Lisa: comments made in the past probably really affected me more than I know. My very first time giving - I didn't know what the eff I was doing! - and I attributed the guy's prompt dumping of me to my horrible head skills... and I honestly got discouraged and really didn't attempt to give again for years... which didn't help with the skills either.... Dad'sHouse is right! Are there classes for this stuff???? lol
As far as receiving, I've just ALWAYS assumed the guy ONLY does it because he thinks ALL WOMEN like it/need it, etc. I quickly put my guy starit that I neither like it nor need it, and most don't have a problem with that at all. But, heer again, I'm sure this also stems from first-time issues or comments made that I never fully resolved....
The older I get, the more I like. But especially so if he is telling me he is into it as I am giving.
ReplyDeleteReceiving is a dream, but again...like that more too as i have gotten older. Some thing rellly do get better with age.
Great questions...
Gah! Tried to comment last night, but blogger ate it. And now I'm at work and don't have the proper time to rewrite it. Damn. Here's a brief recep:
ReplyDeleteLove it, love it, love it, LOVE IT! Giving and receiving. Always have, but it's especially awesome with The Man. The right partner does make all the difference.
Weirdest experience with giving a bj was the guy who apologized all the way through it before finally pushing my head away. He explained (still apologetically) that he was really trying to enjoy it but that he couldn't get over the idea that it just wasn't something nice girls should like.
Guess I forgot to tell him that I'm not a nice girl. :)
Giving? Receiving? Yes, please!
ReplyDeleteI have always loved giving but had some hangups on receiving. Once I got over those, it was full steam ahead! It definitely helps to have a partner who isn't lacking in talent and enthusiasm. :)
I love to give, but it does not turn me on the least. Not sure why, but I think that I am concentrating on him so much that I can't.
ReplyDeleteI love giving to a woman more than a man. I like to receive but I prefer penetration above all!!!
I enjoy giving more than receiving. Perhaps coming from the extreme vulnerability I feel when receiving. And the fact that my soon-to-be ex would never go down on me--a woman can be made to feel very filthy.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I don't like to be forced, and when having my head force-held down as he spurts his stuff out my nose but won't give me anything ever in return--well, that's a recipe for no more oral for him.
I'd be very curious to know what Dadshouse considers to to be a "decent" blowjob. And a couple of pointers on technique.
ReplyDeleteGreat post T.
ReplyDeleteI love to give and take. Love it!
There's nothing like feeling a guy in your mouth. And there's nothing like receiving when he knows what to do. Of course communication and trust are needed in both cases. Can't enjoy it otherwise.
GREAT COMMENTS ON THIS POST!
ReplyDeleteI have so many things I want to say, but will try and keep it short:
1. I might be giving a presentation on oral sex at Spanksgiving this year.
2. I love giving and receiving. A man went down on me last night, and it was his very first time!
3. I have had an orgasm just from sucking dick, no touching myself. I get SO into it!
4. Cocks are delicious. So is my pussy!
Have you ever read the Kushiel's Dart series by Jaqueline Carey, T? I am betting a 100 million dollars you would absolutely adore it. It is the best sexually forward thinking fantasy novel I have ever read and I am not one for romance novels but that book makes me horny as hell. Just an FYI
ReplyDeleteStraight-up sex is by far my favorite activity. I like giving better than receiving. Some of it is due to some comments from a college boyfriend that I didn't smell/taste nice, but also I just have a high threshold for orgasm. I can only get off with my vibrator!
ReplyDelete