Restless Ramblings... a week later

I am alone again.

Well, I say that.... there have been alone moments here and there.

Between my mom and Gem, I have had someone looking over me or staying with me just about the entire time since my surgery last Wednesday.

How completely blessed am I?!?

Gem has stayed with me the past 3 nights. She hurts me though because she always has me laughing like crazy. Oh... laughing hurts so good.

Mom brought me lunch today. My friend De is on her way here to visit and bring me dinner. I truly have some wondrous friends in my life.

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I have seen the tummy.

*T does a slow pained happy dance!*

Oh my goodness you guys! I'm like... REALLY?!?

I went to the doctor earlier this week to have them remove the &$#*@ pain pump that was inserted into my skin during surgery. Thankfully, it kept my incision from hurting too much but after the meds ran out of the pump, it was just a pain in my ass.

The nurses took off the corset (that I'll be wearing non-stop for the next month or so) and removed the bandage. I was hunched over in the chair because it still hurts to sit up straight.

Ok, so I'm hunched over right? I'm thinking, hunched over, so surely I'll see a belly because, ya know... HUNCHED OVER.

Dude.

My belly was concave. Do you hear me? Con-freakin-CAVE!!

It was also all sorts of rainbow colors from bruising and stuff but wow.

So that's what money can buy?!

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I don't do so well with free time.

As you can probably tell from yesterday's post, I have been thinking WAY too much.

I tried telling Gentleman Jack yesterday that this whole relationship makes no sense, doesn't seem to have a future, and if we continue down this path, I will probably fall in love with him and he'll fall in love with me and the whole damn thing will get really complicated. So... I told him we should call the whole thing off.

He said No.

WTF?!

He said, "I love you. You love me. We're having fun. I'm sure we'll fall in love with each other and it will get more complicated. So? I'm not letting you go. Now, go play a video game or something to keep your mind occupied."

*sigh*

How am I supposed to argue with that?

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I miss my girls.

I am healing quite nicely and getting around now without my walker...

Oh, did I tell you I had a walker? Well yeah.

Anyway...

I'm getting around better. I'm able to stand up straight for short periods of time. I can't sleep worth a damn since I'm supposed to sleep on my back and I am SO not a back sleeper.

I'm getting my strength back because single mommyhood is staring me right in the face again. Jack will be here this weekend to help me with laundry and grocery shopping and preparing to take care of two little ones again.

I miss them like crazy.

I talked to them yesterday at the ex-mother-in-law's house.

I wonder if my ex-mother-in-law judges me for having plastic surgery. Surely the ex told her why I was having surgery. Hmmm...

The kids are having fun. Grace is sounding so mature and grown up. They bragged about swimming and the fun they're having with grandma.

School starts soon. Rose in 2nd grade and Grace in pre-K. Their dad took them back-to-school shopping already.

I miss their little hugs and their noises in the house and their voices and their faces and... have I mentioned their hugs?

Oh I miss my girls.

*sigh*

First things first.

Healing and getting stronger day after day.

I wonder if I can do yoga yet?