Monday, September 28, 2009

I need sex



I took time this weekend to catch up on the season premier of Grey's Anatomy. If you'll recall, I became smitten with Dr. Owen Hunt, the new Army surgeon on the show, because his reaction to the character Christina and his struggles with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), reminded me SO much of what I went through with Soldier.

Funny thing. Now when I look at him, he reminds me of Gentleman Jack.

Huh.

Anyway....

Part of his therapy was to abstain from sex. Christina couldn't think clearly about ANYTHING because she wasn't getting any.

That's how I'm feeling right now.

I need sex because I can't think or concentrate on anything!!

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My Gentleman and I have the same primary love language: physical touch

Both he and I require that touch, that physical intimacy, to feel as if our "love tanks" are filled. I can usually tell, by the end of our second week apart, that we definitely need to get to some boom-chicka-bow-wow so that all will feel right in our worlds again.

Well, you can imagine how we're feeling right now after 15 days apart!!! We still have 4 more to go til we can be skin to skin again.

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I'm not sure if this particular separation feels more difficult because it is the longest we've been apart since the beginning? Or is it because we've fallen madly in love with each other?

It scares me, really, because I don't want to get to a point where I'm craving more than what we already have. Neither of us can move right now. I don't want this to become difficult.

We had a conversation last night where we each expressed fears of the other one wanting to end everything because of the difficulty. Here I was thinking that he will declare this is too much and that he can't do it anymore. He was concerned about the same thing with me.

I have reminded him more than once that I've done the whole not-see-each-other-for-extended-periods-of-time thing before. *ahem*  If I can do a 15 month deployment, I can do anything!

Thankfully, we are still able to communicate our fears and hopes. We've both realized that we do want to continue this for as long as we can.

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Until Friday, I will read over the wonderful memories of our touching each other. I will remember how he holds my hand to his face and tells me how much he loves me. I will remember how, in the afterglow of reconnecting, he will look into my eyes and tell me that he missed me. I will think of how he likes to wrap his arms around me, pull me into him and I feel as if I've disappeared.

And I will remember the unbelievably amazing love we make together.

I'm not sure what else I'll be able to accomplish this week.

*sigh*

Friday can't get here fast enough.

16 comments:

  1. I haven't see Grey's Anatomy in ages. Are Hawkeye and Trapper john still on it?

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  2. I completely understand. ;) For us *physical touch* people, the lack of it can suck more than for most for sure. And I can only imagine how intense this weekend will be for you both - or wait, maybe I'll get to read about it. Heh.

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  3. I am also a physical touch person, so I can understand your pain.

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  4. This has been the biggest problem for me and Mr. V. I am super-sexual and he is having issues in that area - drive, not potency. Argh. Fortunately he is all about toys and is generally willing to accommodate me. It's just hard when he isn't into it. We're working on it. Boo. :( All this is to say that I sooooo feel your pain!

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  5. Ooh. Been there. I hope you're able to find lots of distractions and that the time passes as quickly as possible for you.

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  6. I am the same way. Physical touch is so important and without it, things are off balanced.

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  7. Physical touch and one-on-one time are my #1 and #2 love languages. And when I am forced to go any amount of time without #1? I get cranky...and achy...and not able to function well.

    TF seems to need the physical touch, too. He has his own ways of expressing that (ahem) but it's good to share it together.

    Some real sweetness in this post, T. And I'm sure we'll read about the reunion in the near future. ;)

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  8. Hey, T, I know EXACTLY where you're coming from, girl. Exactly.

    The worst part for me this past weekend was that we were both too sick to get in as much lovin' as we both would have liked. So while it was nice to curl up in CBG's arms and have a glorious nap together when it's what we both really needed, not having sex kinda stunk.

    Guess we'll have to make up for that on our next visit. heh.

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  9. I am married and haven't had any any in hmmm, a long time. Hence ending things. I am guessing I am going to be a little freak for a while to make up for it. :)
    Anyhow, I LOVE me some Greys and was thinking that Owen looked like Rascal too.
    I also caught this statement: Neither of us can move right now.
    It almost sounds like you have been thinking about this, as to where it used to sound like, never. :) The whole "right now" makes me smile for you.

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  10. But doesn't the fact that you can't have it any old time you want make it that much more special when you DO get together?

    :) At least I'd think it would.

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  11. It is amazing how we can become fixated on what we perceive is missing in our life rather than on all that we have...

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  12. This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when Elaine isn't having sex for a while and she's getting dummer and dummer.

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  13. I simply want to add that it's so refreshing to read your look-in-the-mirror posts like these. I hope you can see how well it helps all of us to turn and look at ourselves, too....

    My guy was traveling a good part of the past 2 weeks, and it was rough. I get it.

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  14. I'm horny even when I'm getting sex. Ha!

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  15. Man...do I ever know this feeling. I'm already counting down the hours until I get to see Sunshine again, especially since our last weekend was cut a bit short by strep throat.

    Have yourself some fun this weekend, T. And if you feel the need to blog intimate details, you go right ahead.

    :-P

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  16. But then there's that A-N-T-I-C-I-P-A-T-I-O-N... Doubly delish when the weekend arrives! Bon appetit!

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