Once I do that, then everything begins to point me in the right direction.
Last night I went to my A Course in Miracles study group. I realize that the group, as well as the blue book that we read from, are all but symbols in my mind that point me back to God. All I know is that when I'm there, I am in such a state of peace, joy and love.
My friend D hosts the group and, since he's been my friend for well over 20 years, knows me well. He could tell that I was struggling. It's not only the relationship situation either... I am still having difficulty with my vision board. When I wrote of creating another vision board at the beginning of September, I thought for sure it'd be done by now.
Just as with my relationship with my Gentleman, I am struggling with many questions about my future.
What do I want?
Where do I want to be?
What if... WHAT IF???
"Start with the content of what you want," my friend D told me. "Isn't it peace that you want? Isn't it love? Now go ahead. Set material goals. But remember the content and purpose behind every one of them.
What's outside of you will not make you happy. You have to choose to be happy NOW."
Then I came home and snuggled up in my bed to watch the end of Grey's Anatomy on my DVR. The voice over was speaking directly to me....
"It's pointless in the end. Because all the worrying and all the making of plans for things that could or could not happen.... it only makes things worse.
So walk your dog or take a nap. Just whatever you do, stop worrying.
You need to stop thinking about what is going to happen and you need to focus on what is right in front of you.
Because the only cure for paranoia is to BE."
Then this morning's Note from the Universe:
"Tell you what, T: If you can get happy right now, in spite of any problems, challenges, and circumstances that now seem to taunt you, I'll take care of those problems, challenges, and circumstances, as well as "ever-after."
I have to laugh. The message is coming through loud and clear.