Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Going private

Next week will be the 2nd anniversary of this blog.

In that time, I have read and written many blog posts, followed some of my favorite bloggers as they switched domains or blogs, met some of my favorite bloggers, made wonderful new friends from around the world and sadly, watched some of my favorite bloggers stop blogging.

I bet you didn't think I could use the word 'blog' so much in one sentence, did you?

Well, another of my favorite bloggers, Depot Dad, has decided to call it quits.

Many of you read about Jim's battle with cancer over the past year or so. Well, he's finally kickin' that cancer's ass and as part of the celebration of his new lease on life, he's going private.

I am beside myself with happiness about his recovery. The man is one of the most special men I have in my life. I can't say enough good things about him that I haven't already said before.

We'll miss your words, Jimbo. Thank you for sharing your journey.


Rachel over at Single Mom Seeking, was apologizing yesterday that her blog has changed.

It seems that she is feeling a bit guilty for putting up ads or for her sponsored blog posts.

She's a professional writer. She does this for a living. I would expect an ad or sponsored blog post here and there.

But yeah, I have noticed that she doesn't blog too much about her personal life anymore. She's in a long term relationship with a man who prefers privacy. Of course, she will naturally become more private. Her goal was to inspire other single mothers and share her dating stories. Now, she's focusing on making a new life with her man.

I would assume that her readership will change and evolve, as her blog does, as her life does.

That's not a bad thing, is it?


I love blogging as a document of all that I've been through these past few years. There are times when I go back and read some of my blog posts and I'm inspired. There are other times that I'll read and I cannot even relate. And there are yet other times that I can't even believe I wrote that!

I also wonder, as time goes on, if I will eventually go private or more quiet. I have kept journals since I was 7 years old. I can't imagine that I would stop journalling... but would I share it with the world?

Sometimes, there are nights when I have nothing to say and then... a post simply writes itself.

There are other times when I have 10 posts started and not enough time to finish all of them!

Life evolves, changes, moves and my blog will do that as well. Many of you have said that you never know what I may write about from day to day and honestly, I don't either! I do know that at this point, I still view this as mostly a journal where I sort out feelings and thoughts and learn more and more about myself.

I've spent two years and almost 600 posts writing about whatever comes to mind. After all the friends I've made, all the love that I feel from comments and as much as I adore blogging, I don't know if I could go private.

I guess I'll know when I know.


  1. T......while I would miss your blogs terribly if you decided to go private, I would completely understand and respect your wish for privacy. You have helped me both here and offline so much already. I wish I had your way with words and the ability to help so many people with what you have to say. Maybe one day I will get up the courage to begin a blog...might be theraputic to get all of this junk out of my head and be able to let it go... ha ha.

  2. Happy early anniversary. I too just passed my second year of blogging. I do wonder how long I'll keep it going. Probably when my kids grow up and tell me to stop.

  3. T-
    If you ever went private you would be greatly missed. You have such profound words, but I also understand that things change and evolve. Which means I would respect your decision.

    Happy anniversary dear.

    Keep writing and I will keep reading.

  4. Dear T,

    I just adore your blog... it helps me sort out my own issues. Somedays it just helps to see the world through a different set of eyes. Your eyes are brave, glorious, and amazing. Your perspective illuminates some of the darker corners of my own life. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world... you do make it a better place. Thanks for allowing even the quietest amongst us to join your quest.


  5. Gosh, what a lot of stuff you've got here! Two years does seem like a long time. I've also wrestled with the privacy thing a bit - my old blog was known by too many of my family, friends and even a few colleagues at work and I was starting to censor myself quite a bit (like not writing about our ongoing carcrash of a sex life for starters - I note with interest a certain contrast here!) so I took the option of shuttering the old blog and starting over, though letting the regular gang of treasured readers know where the new one is.

  6. I, for one, really hope you never decide to go private. Of course, I say that for purely selfish reasons...


  7. Another vote for "keep the blog!!" heh. Just another selfish request from a selfish reader.... ;-)

    Seriously, though, you need to do what is best for you...and if that means someday giving up the blog, then that's what you should do. Like you said, you'll know.

  8. congrats on the anniversary of your blog coming soon! While I understand folks' needs for privacy, I think the whole purpose of a blog is transparency...however, with that being said, privacy is sometimes a must (I've thought about it too, at times!) so if I were to ever consider it, I might mark some entries as private but keep the majority open. Either way, I enjoy your blogs SO much and read them daily!!

  9. Congratulations on the 2 year mark, T! It's a long time to blog and something you should be proud of -- well, actually, something WE your readers all should be thankful for. As you know, a lot can happen in two years and I only made it a little past that mark myself. But, you'll know if/when it's time to call it quits here. And we'll love you all the same.

    So many cool things happening around us -- I'm so glad to be a part of it.


  10. Well, I hope that you stay bloggin, but I get it. Sometimes I don't have time and get burned out trying to stay caught up.
    You, however would be greatly missed.

  11. If you ever do go private, be sure to let me know, I want in! :)

  12. I think there are things we all go "quiet" about, or we tweak a detail here or there in order to assure someone of privacy. At least, this is my approach and it feels right to me, for my circumstances.

    It's wonderful that we can share each others' experiences like this - and see the growth and changes over time. And maybe even realize that in subtle ways we're part of the growth process.

    As for privacy - there are means to maintain it while still participating in this personal storytelling adventure. And for professional writers (a little different from professional bloggers, though they may intersect) - sometimes that poses challenges. Add in exes and kids, and you get more challenges.

    But I think we're up to it. Because what we have - what we create, daily, is community. In our difficult, isolating, complicated world, especially (but not exclusively) for single parents, that's a great gift.

    Keep sharing. We're reading, learning, and building on all of it.

  13. As someone who doesn't comment often, i do visit daily. You have helped me more than you know with your insight and words. I fully agree with Kim's comment.

    Thanks for everything T!

  14. YOU, private??? Ha! (Just teasing you, T!)

    Thanks for the linky love. I also love your insight and self-awareness about relationships -- and if it means reading posts about how to "blend" this man named Rascal into your life, I'm all ears babe!

  15. Just like us, our blogs grow and evolve as we do.

    I think about going private or stopping altogether sometimes but like most bloggers my blog has become near and dear to me - as have many people I've met through it.

    Only time will tell where it leads.

  16. I could never go private. It's just not me. However I do miss all the people that do.

  17. T,

    Two years. What an accomplishment. I love this post for many of the reasons I love your other posts - because it is honest, at once threaded with detectable confidence and endearing uncertainty. I love that you are questioning whether there is a day when you will go private, close up shop. I am a relative rookie in this world and I sometimes have these thoughts too. Sometimes I crave the greater privacy I enjoyed. But then I think about how amazing all of this is - these random and rueful and REAL connections forged in the ether of Internet - and realize I must keep going.

    Thanks again for a compelling post and congratulations on the two years!

    - Aidan

  18. Congrats on the 2 year blog bday. I have seen several bloggers stop blogging in the past few months..I think people do what they need to do but all of them are missed so its a bit of a catch 22.

  19. I appreciate how open you are. There are blogs that go both ways. I am super private on my blog (despite the lurid raw stuff I sometimes write.) I tend not to write about anyone I'm in a relationship with. And I only write about my kids with their permission.

    Congrats on two years!!

  20. Wow! You guys left some wonderful comments here!! This is why I can't imagine going offline!! I so appreciate all of you who take the time to read and even better when you comment.

    Thank you!!!


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