Friday, November 20, 2009

The Affair, part 2

This is very uncomfortable for me to relive... but, it has come back into the forefront of my mind and I must process it. Please bear with me.

Read Part 1

Fall 1996:

During this time period, I'd also met K's wife.

She was a tiny little thing - probably about an inch or two shorter than I. Both K and his wife were fitness buffs. Both of them ran and lifted weights. She had a perfect fit body and was very pretty - something I was envious of since I'd put on nearly 25 lbs while in college. She also worked at this same company and sat, in fact, a few cube farms over from us.

I remember meeting her for the first time. He and I were leaving the office for lunch and she drove by. She looked at me with suspicion as he introduced us.

Though every girl thought K was the epitome of a dream boat, every man thought the same of K's wife. They looked like the perfect couple.

The four of us spent time together occasionally, me with my husband and K with his wife. She and I grew to be friends. She was kind but I often wondered if she felt much like a shadow to K's glow. She wasn't nearly as outgoing. I had a much closer friendship with K than I had with his wife but she began to trust me.

K told me that his wife had been cheated on in her previous relationship and she was very insecure. He was very honest with her and did what he could to quell her insecurities.

I adored her and I loved seeing how well he treated her. I hoped that was what other people noticed when they saw me and my husband together. I felt very much in love, though not without my complaints (i.e. his travel and drinking), and happy to see another couple who felt the same way.


December 1996:

I finally completed my college degree and had a huge celebration at my house. I did graduate cum laude and became the first (and only) person in my family to obtain a degree.

My house was filled with family and friends. The only co-workers that showed up were K and his wife. It was a glorious night and I was flying high. My life was finally beginning! I was turning 26 years old a few weeks later and was thrilled to have a great career ahead of me.

At the end of the night, as I bid farewell to my guests, I walked K and his wife to the door. We said our goodbyes and hugged, as we always did.

But there was something there... something in that hug from K.... that left me... vibrating...

That night I had a sexual dream about him.

to be continued...

Part 3


  1. I'm so glad you are telling this story.

  2. It's not easy for me to read this, but I honor your sincerity. My family was torn apart from infidelity and although my life is better now that it has ever been, it hurts so badly to think of the 16 years I spent dealing with other women and the final 7 weeks I spent picking up the pieces of myself while the final other woman claimed my dreams. Thank you for sharing, it makes me stronger and I hope that it will help you too.

  3. Glad you are doing these posts and hope it helps you process. I thought it was interesting in this one that you said you had a closer relationship with K than his wife did, and wonder--was that really the case or was it just your perception of it?

  4. I am eager to hear what happened next, although I am already guessing!


  5. Whatever else it may be for you - and others - cathartic, painful, informative - it's a good read, T. And perhaps, in the end, will take some of the sting out of infidelity for the one who has survived it realizing that there are human faces involved, and most often, no intention to hurt.

  6. @Jane, Sage and Secretia: I have to process it through each part of the story. Thank you for your patience.

    @Bon: Oh sweetie, I do know this about your past marriage and I also know how much happier you are now. As I said, I know this will be difficult for some to read.

    @Allison: I really did have a closer relationship with K. We talked ALL THE TIME and ALL DAY LONG. His wife and I would talk and we saw each other every day but the friendship wasn't nearly as deep as the friendship with K. He shared much more with me than she did.

    @BigLittleWolf: Thank you for your kind words. I don't believe there is intention of hurt in most infidelities.

  7. I'm sorry Allison... does it read that I had a closer relationship with K than his wife did???

    No, what I was saying was that I was closer friends with him than I was friends with her.

    Their relationship seemed flawless to me at this point.

  8. I reworded that part Allison. Thank you for pointing it out to me.

  9. Thank you for posting something that's so personal and painful.

    At this point in the story, it's incredibly compelling.

  10. Looking forward to your next installment.

  11. this is so hard for me to read. my husband had three affairs during our marriage, the first one with a mutual friend, which began as soon as we returned from our honeymoon. somehow i thought being friends with her was insurance--that i didn't have to worry about their "friendship" because she was my friend, too. that she wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

    i am interested in seeing how your story continues to unfold.

  12. T- As painful as it is to you, I am proud of you for getting it out there, especially knowing that it could be hard for others to read. This is about you and your healing. At least you are acknowledging it and the pain it can cause all parties. I have heard of a few "other mistresses" that never acknowledge anything they did was wrong. You are awesome.


Thank you for leaving me some comment love!