Sunday, November 8, 2009

Aiming for the fairway

Over the weekend, while Gentleman Jack was visiting us with his sons, our hamster went missing. The kids, all 4 of them, began the quest to solve the mystery of the missing hamster like the gang on Scooby Doo. Mommy, on the other hand, wigged out.

Well... they woke me up from a dead sleep at 7 a.m. to tell me this! And I LOVE that sweet little guy.

Gentleman Jack remained calm and held no doubts that the hamster would appear. Still, I dragged him out of bed to help us search anyway. Minutes later, as predicted, our hamster approached Jack from behind the refrigerator.


I'd jumped into Jack's arms, so thankful, and he calmly spoke to me, "Can I say something to you? Something metaphysical?"

I was intrigued as he continued, "You were clouded in that moment that you freaked out."

Yep, as always, he reads me well. I WAS clouded and filled with doubt. But how did he pick up on that?

"I used to teach golf. One of the things I used with my students was positive thinking. If they thought, 'I don't want to hit that tree'... they'd hit it. You have to drop the 'don't' and remove the negativity. Instead the thought should be 'aim for the fairway'. Your thoughts were fear and worry about the hamster instead of knowing we'd find him."


I've always loved to define fear as:


Fear is nothing more than worry about something that hasn't even happened yet.

It hasn't even happened yet!!

Why worry about it? Why focus on it? What you focus on, grows. So if you think about it, what you fear is what you draw to you. 

I remember a rule that I learned in driver's education that said not to focus on signs or obstacles on the side of the road because you will aim right for them.

In yoga balance poses, instead of saying, "I hope I don't fall", we say instead, "I am stable and steady."


I loved my Gentleman's golf analogy so much that I repeated it to him the next day.

On Sunday mornings, he slips right back into responsibility mode. This is when he begins to worry about money or time or things on his to-do-list-that-never-get-done.

This morning, it was money that gave him that worried look.

"You're aiming for the tree." I reminded him.

"I don't have blind faith, honey," he told me.

"But you do!!! Don't you remember yesterday with the hamster? Don't you remember your golf students? Don't you remember every single time that I worry about this long distance relationship and how its ever going to work out? You're the one with the blind faith! You're the one who stays positive. You just need to do the same thing with money."


We all have some sort of limiting belief. We all believe in lack of something.

Love. Money. Food.

But our thoughts are what's limiting us.... not our actions. If you knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there was endless abundance of something, you wouldn't worry. You wouldn't be scared. The fear would be gone.

Abundance would be all that you see.

There are times that I refer to myself as a lucky girl to have my Gentleman Jack in my life. Jack's response is always the same, "You're not lucky. You got what you asked for. Isn't that how the Law of Attraction works?"

If lack of money is what he believes in or focuses on, that is what he will find. If I believe that landing a great guy was some sort of stroke of luck instead of exactly what I asked for and felt deserving of, then I will always worry that my luck will run out.

Whatever limiting belief, we both need to let it go - consciously and subconsciously. We both need to stop thinking about what we don't want to happen and instead be grateful and at peace with all that we know we deserve.

We both need to aim for the fairway.

"Life is not what you see, but what you've projected. It's not what you've felt, but what you've decided. It's not what you've experienced, but how you've remembered it. It's not what you've forged, but what you've allowed. And it's not who's appeared, but who you've summoned. And this should serve you well, beloved, until you find, what you already have."
~Notes from the Universe


  1. This is good stuff, T. You're doing great.


  2. I love the aim for the fairway reference, and the quote at the end (I may use it for Quote Friday...:-) )

  3. This is just what I needed to hear/read on this particularly difficult morning. Sounds like you are making worlds of progress...thanks for inspiring the same in others.

  4. Rascal's fareway advice is spot on!

    Glad the hamster is safe :-)

  5. The fairway advice is indeed excellent. But in some arenas, it isn't so simple. When your fears originate from beyond a place of your reach, when your fears are born of another's manipulations, when your fears and then some have actualized, you understand that they are not only justified, but in some ways warning signals.

    Then we must use them to serve us, and protect us. The trick is doing so, without paralysis.

  6. Good advice. Decide what you want the universe to be then make it happen.

  7. fear is a prayer for something bad to happen! I tell my kids that when they screech their lungs out when a dog comes up to sniff them.

  8. T, this is a wonderful post and quote. Thank you!

  9. Aiming for the fairway. I love this metaphor. And I completely agree about fear. I just wish we had more control over our fear. I wish we could guide it instead of having it guide us. If only.


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