Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Embrace your feminine side

As a single mom, and I'm sure all single parents have noticed this, I definitely get use out of both my feminine side and my masculine side.

I have to be mom and dad.

I have to cook dinner and mow the lawn.

I have to be the nurturer and be the breadwinner.

Now, I realize that I'm basing the terms "masculine" and "feminine" on purely stereotypical qualities.

Strength vs. Gentleness

Intuition vs. Logic

You get the idea.

As a woman, I've noticed that the masculine qualities, though sometimes ironically regarded as "feminist", seem to be generally accepted by our society.

I've also noticed that all men have a feminine side. Every single man I know has some sort of quality that society might consider "feminine". Generally speaking, the men that seem to have no problem admitting their feminine qualities are the married men. Maybe the traits are far more obvious in a partnership like marriage?

For instance, my ex-husband excelled (i.e. did better than me) at cooking, wrapping presents, flower arrangements and choosing matting/frames for art we purchased.

Soldier was obsessive about his weight. He attributed it to being a triathlete but I get the feeling that his vanity always got the best of him.

My sweet friend TNT - let's just say that his apartment resembles nothing even close to a bachelor pad. From the gorgeous furniture and artwork down to the potpourri on the table behind his leather couch. Nice!

Gentleman Jack... oh I'm still learning my Gentleman... But I have noticed that it takes him longer to choose what clothes he's going to wear than I do! Well, ok, I guess that's not fair since I'm generally living out of a suitcase when I'm at his house. Jack is also the most intuitive man I have ever met. Because he's a man, however, he has been raised not to trust that part of himself. Only women are supposed to have intuition.

I was inspired to write about this after being around the guys at work last week. We were having a potluck Halloween luncheon, sitting around and talking about the food.

"Wanna know the secret to my chili?" the CEO asked me. He went on to proudly tell me the secret to several of his recipes.  I so enjoyed listening to him boasting like Betty Crocker!

Another guy at work said it was his dream job to work on the TV show, Ace of Cakes. His dream job. Wow. I was surprised and impressed.

I wonder why society shames men into believing that from these traits, we could also assume their sexual orientation. Sadly, society says the same thing about men who enjoy anal sex play. (But don't get me started on that.)

Hopefully, with the popularity of the Food Network and HG TV, we'll begin to skew some of those attitudes towards men and their feminine sides. I think if more men embraced that part of themselves, we could be looking at a completely different society.

These traits in a man are S.E.X.Y.

And besides, balance is good.


  1. I totally get this... I am also both father and mother. I just sewed a patch on one of my daughter's jeans because she thought it looked cool. I SEWED! Congrats on the being featured on "Since My Divorce"!

  2. Love this! I love when a man can be domestic but I also like watching him fix a motorcycle, or build things, or hunt. I love when a man embraces all aspects of himself. Balance is good. I agree 100% - SEXY!

  3. I love this!! Embrace our "masculine" side, and men should embrace their "feminine" side - no shame in either. And, as women, we're strong, not weak...nothing can stop us ;-)

  4. Hot hot cute hot!

    Personally, I love embracing my feminine side. And I love men who love that I embrace my feminine side, as I... um... embrace their masculine side.

    What I don't care for is too much man-embracing-the-feminine-side. Like, watch Food Network and cook for me? FAB! Try on my shoes? Not so much.

  5. My soon to be ex husband wanted to let me give him a facial, but wouldn't because he tjought it was gay. I never understand how being healthy and taking care of skin, hair etc is only for women and gay men. Where did all of this come from?

  6. You know what, I don't know that I've ever defined this before, but I couldn't agree more. It is SO SEXY!! I think a man that can take care of himself (skin, etc) is a sexy man indeed.

  7. From my personal observations it seems single parents are much better at embracing their opposite gender side. Maybe it's becasue we do have to be both. And maybe that's also why I prefer to date single dads. That domestic side is defintiely HOT!

  8. I don't think you have to be both mom and dad. Just be yourself.

    I get where you're going with this post. But why is talking about food being like Betty Crocker? I think you have some stereotypical images stuck in your mind. You blame it on society shaming men, but it's your perspective at work in this post.

    I don't feel ashamed that I can cook. My guy friends who can't cook are the ones who should feel shame, especially when their wife leaves town for a weekend, and those husbands can do nothing but order pizza and microwave leftovers rather than trying to cook something from scratch. That's a real shame.

  9. There is nothing sexier than a man who can show both sides...most definitely! Great post T.

  10. Balance is good. I know that I have rarely fit the stereotypical assumptions of a straight male. Interesting though how hard so many of my brethren try to be "a real man". Ha. Good post.

  11. I totally love it when CBG embraces his 'feminine side'.

    Except when he takes longer in the bathroom than me. That's just annoying.


  12. I think you're out to lunch here, lady. Most guys I know can cook, and enjoy cooking. I personally find it very rewarding. How is that feminine, or in any way some kind of exploration of human sexuality?

    I think you have been dating too many military men, or just plain uneducated men. Go to university.

  13. Ahhh... I love it when someone makes assumptions about me based on what they read in one post.

    I'm not even going to bother defending what I wrote. Or argue the point that cooking is or isn't feminine when I was married to a chef.

    I'm happy that Anonymous enjoys cooking. I'm happy that men don't take these qualities so seriously that they get offended either.

    But I appreciate the need to vent to me about it. Thanks.


Thank you for leaving me some comment love!