When my ex-husband and I initially bought a home together, we were excited. We were thrilled to be first time homeowners and live together like a real married couple!
After living together less than 6 months, the house next door went on the market. We thought about buying it.
We seriously considered buying the house next door for my husband.
We loved each other but we also got on each other's nerves. One of our earliest fights was because he didn't like the way I cooked my oatmeal. I didn't like that he sat in front of the TV all day on Sunday. He didn't like that I wasn't as neat as he was. I didn't like that he couldn't pay his own bills.
You get where I'm going with this?
My friend D and his girlfriend are celebrating their 7 year anniversary next month. It is the longest relationship he's ever had before. He's lived with numerous girlfriends prior to dating this girl and finally, when he was single, he bought his own home.
His girlfriend had her own home too. She was a single mother of teenage children who have since all left home.
Both D and his girlfriend still have their own homes. They have scheduled Wednesday night date nights and they spend every weekend together.
It works for them. They each have their own homes, their own space and their own lives. He believes this is what is attributing to the length and success of their happy relationship.
We always hear (and say) that the best relationships are those where you're able to maintain your own identity. Isn't part of that identity your home?
I often wonder whether or not Gentleman Jack and I could ever live together as my house is filled with estrogen and his is filled with testosterone.
I would hate for him to think he'd have to take down his prized trophies from hunting and fishing.... and I'm sure he'd have something to say about my chakra wall chart.
Maybe that's why our relationship has gone so well so far. We each have our own homes, our own space, our own lives and our own identities. I don't feel a need to stifle or change who he is and he doesn't stifle or attempt to change me either.
We're each free to nurture ourselves and devote time to each other in addition to that. We each feel whole and happy in our lives but then when we're together, we're together. Every time is special.
Hmmm.... maybe when we finally end up in the same town together, we can get a his and hers duplex like the one in the picture?
I can see me explaining that to our friends and family, "Oh yeah. My husband lives next door...."
Hey, its OUR normal.
"The best relationship is the one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other."
I found the above picture on this guy's photostream and I was in love.