Saturday, December 19, 2009

Not in My Wife's Mouth!

I generally stay away from news and/or politics on this blog. I tend to be able to see both sides of every story so I don't really have much of an opinion that I have to get on my soap box about.

Then there's the Tiger Woods thing.

I'm not really opinionated about it, per se. I guess since I had an affair of my own and I know that I'm not a bad person, I can't really judge Tiger. I mean, he's Tiger Woods for pete's sake. Its not like the entire world hasn't been telling him, since his teenage years, that he was a god and entitled to everything that life has to offer.

So, he partook of those things and... now we're pissed at him?

O. K.

I'm not saying its right. We've all seen the pain that I had to go through in reliving the story of my own affair. But I'm not going to sit here and throw stones or think he's this horrible selfish person.

I have another opinion about it though.

I'm reminded of the scene in Analyze This when Billy Crystal asked DeNiro why he had a mistress on the side. DeNiro answered along the lines of, "I can't do that with my wife. That's the mouth that kisses my children!"

I remember in The Soprano's, there was the same story. All the big mob guys were married to these beautiful, smart, classy women but they had mistresses on the side.

I mentioned this to Gentleman Jack and he admitted to the same thoughts. He admitted that while he was married, some of his fantasies remained just that: fantasies. He said he didn't want to try that stuff with his wife. Those thoughts were naughty and your wife should be respected and held to a higher standard than dirty, filthy, boy fantasies.


It also reminded me of my ex-husband who, when we were dating, was all about trying new things, watching porn with me or going to strip clubs with me. Then towards the end of our marriage, he kept all of that hidden from me. He seemed ashamed. I was confused and didn't like that he hid that from me. So, I pulled back too and our sex life suffered because of it.

Thankfully, GJ knows better now. He damn well better know better...

Everyone's been saying, "How can Tiger cheat with these cheap whorish women when he has a gorgeous, smart, wonderful wife and mother at home?"

I wonder if he is filled with shame about his over-active and imaginative sexual fantasies? I wonder if he believes that blowjobs and anal sex are immoral, like unfortunately, I think many people believe.

Maybe he holds his wife in such high regard that he can't imagine putting his manhood in the mouth that kisses his children good night?

Just a thought.

Your thoughts?


  1. I never understood the "I can't do that with my wife. That's the mouth that kisses my children!" train of thought, doesn't hold water with me.

    And I think it has nothing to do with Tiger's rampant cheating. Interesting idea, though...

  2. I don;t know why its even news to begin with???
    We have 10+% unemployment and a debt that is larger than ever before and increasing exponentially buy te second with the impending health care legislation that will obviously compound all of those problems and the talking heads are babbling about Tiger?

    Well I'll say this. If you LOVED Chocolate ice cream, I mean it was the best ever, if you ate it at EVERY meal eventually you'd want some Vanilla thrown in there. Just for a change of pace, even if you didn't like it as much. You'd still like chocolate better but ya know mix in a scoop or two of something else along and along.

  3. Unfortunately, it's often the Virgin-Whore complex. When they are first dating, many men want to go out with exciting women, women who will do all they desire sexually; but somehow, they want to take the virgin home and eventually to marry her even though that's not necessarily what or who they want to be with or who will satisfy them in their supposedly "life=long" relationship and marriage. They have to bring home the "good girl," who doesn't do "those things" and wouldn't be caught dead even thinking about them! And so, men (and women) foster false relationships and a time-bomb in their supposedly most intimate and life-long connection.

    It takes a lot to get past the societal pressure to realize that the two people that make the best ongoing partners are those who are passionate about each other -- in more ways that just how passionately that person satisfies expectations of family and friends.

  4. I feel bad for the poor guy... I mean I am not saying what he did was ok, but as they were dating she was aware this was going on.. I mean that's how he met her?

    You can not teach a old dog new tricks. He spends 90% of his time away from home? How do we know that he wife was even "assessable to him?" I mean we will never know really?

  5. Some men just can't cope. Somehow, they think that the "Happy Rug" that keeps their life together will get pulled from them someday and just do crazy stuff.

  6. A man who thinks that way really limits himself. I think I can speak for most women when I say that the more we trust our man,the more adventurous we are willing to be in the bedroom with him - and quite often by our own desire to do so. Anything that a man does outside of the relationship that doesn't honor his wife/girlfriend takes away from that trust.

  7. My marriage ended because, primarily, we couldn't really communicate on a LOT of of the big ones being our (lack of) sex life.

    I refuse to let that happen again. Tiger simply should have communicated better with his wife...maybe he could have truly found happiness with his wife and not in the arms of a dozen ho's.

  8. Tiger can live his own life. No one knows why he made the choices he made. He probably doesn't even know. Years of therapy might help. The part I didn't like about his whole story was that he started using his wealth to pay people to be quiet. Hey Tiger, you can't buy off everyone on the planet! Rather than worry about his billion dollar franchis image, he'd be better off taking a good hard look at himself, and start being a human.

    As for bjs - love 'em! Even from a woman who nurtures my kids.

  9. WELL, for what it is worth...

    I had a friend who used to joke quite a bit about needing two women - one he'd marry and have children with and the other to be his 'whore'. When I asked why 2, he said because he has to marry a woman he respects. And part of the reason he wants a whore is he wants to do things to her that shouldn't be done to a respectable woman.

    I don't know how much weight I'd put in that. But there's one explanation.

    On the topic of Tiger Woods - I don't think anyone is seriously thinking, "Well, I did sort of tell him he was awesome and could do anything and boy, now it's hypocritical of me to call him out on it!" I think some of it is anger that this man does smug interviews touting his family values when he's a Class-A jerk. And I think some people get a certain joy out of seeing him take a fall.

    What a disaster.


  10. Everybody is weighing in on what Tiger did... but what about what his mistress did? She sold him out to the first bidder as soon as the story broke. He phones her, asks her to be discrete because his wife is checking his phone records, and BAM, she gives/sells the voicemail to the press?

    How about, "Not in the mouth that will talk about me to the press?"

  11. Just as with Clinton's (et al) escapades, it is nobody's business what they do in their private life. We are so willing to cast attention to and sensationalize others' faults--I wonder sometimes if it is an attempt to get attention off of our own. And yes, much like my own situation, we are only getting half of the story. I am sure Elin has been paid off heavily to remain silent about her half. A shame, really--I would never permit any sum of money to rob me of a voice.

    Be well, T.

  12. If you can't do it with your partner because she's too 'precious', you either need to think through what exactly your neurosis is or you shouldn't be doing it at all.

    I have no interest in Tiger Woods.

  13. There is a ton of truth to the idea that a wife needs to be respected while the mistress gets the "dirty" behavior. I've never had a mistress but there are women who I've dated who didn't have the qualities I'd want in the mother of my children but were great for all the bedroom fantasy stuff. It's a tough balance for some guys, including myself. Not that straight "missionary" is all the wife should get, but taking on borderline devious things for me just aren't where I want to go with my wife. It's a slippery slope toward disrespect in other ways. Hopefully, I've gotten most of that out of my system through my dating exploits.

  14. Do it AFTER she kisses them good night, but before she brushes her teeth. To be fair, after that hot, sloppy bj with the happy ending, give your wife a long hard kiss with plenty of tongue. Then go get to work yourself, carpet muncher.

    Well, that's what I do.

  15. T,
    I love your perspective on this. I never really thought of it that way before. Makes sense how some men could feel this way or at least justify their behavior this way. Interesting, even if it is simply a clever justification there is probably and ounce of truth within it.
    Myself, I don't think this way. I don't find anything that two people want to do as disgusting or below the dignity of the other if both people are in agreement of the desire.
    Well done, glad you took a different take on this.

  16. I refuse to chime in about Tiger. Not worth it to me.

    But I agree with Mindy that the more we respect and trust our partners, the more creative we can be. Or want to be.

  17. It cannot be that Tiger thinks anal and blowjobs are immoral! Did you write that to see if we were paying attention--hahaha!


  18. I think you're giving Tiger too much credit. He's got a bazillion dollars and women throwing themselves at him every day. End. Of. Story.


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