Tuesday, December 29, 2009

On the subject of money

Sometimes, when I hear a friend tell me that her ex still gives her money when she needs it... or when another friend's mother comes through with extra cash... I tend to think resentfully,

"Well, it must be nice."

I don't have that.

After a giving up that thought, I remember,

"Ya know, abundance is abundance. Some sources just seem to be a bit more obvious than others."

Then I bless my friends and smile at their abundance.

Because when I look around me, I recognize that I DO have that too.

"The subject of money is really two subjects: (1) money, plenty of money, and (2) absence of money, not nearly enough money. Often people assume that because they are speaking the words "I want more money," they are speaking positively about money. When you are feeling fear or discomfort as you speak, you are not speaking of the subject of money, you are speaking of the subject of not enough money. And the difference is very important, because the first statement brings money and the second holds it away."


  1. You know all this emotional maturity makes me jealous.xox Knock that crap off.

  2. I've always been very careful with money and my children because I grew up learning to respect the acquisition of it and what it takes to use it wisely. The benefits are starting to pay off as I watch my oldest prepare for college.

  3. Money isn't something that I have in abundance in my life...and it seems like that's always been the case. But then when I stop and think, I realized that I HAVE been fortunate in this department, because I've always had ENOUGH. I've been able to support my children and provide them with the essentials and pay my rent. I am learning to be satisfied with those things. :)

  4. I've been blessed with enough...and I strive toward abundance. There is something to be said for recognizing what you have and appreciating it.

  5. When your divorce has left you in debt and with too little support - all it takes is one event of significance to knock you off your feet, and the likelihood you'll ever get back up is significantly reduced. Something like job loss, an illness or injury from an accident that takes you out of normal functioning, and adds more debt to the mix.

    Those who blithely say "I've always been careful with my money" assume that those without have done something to be without. It is often not the case.

    An ex who doesn't pay support + layoff + illness + no family to help? You have more than a recipe for resentment. You have a recipe for living on credit as long as you can to do right by your kids, and then dealing with a house of cards, and whatever else comes after. And once you're of a certain age, the picking yourself back up isn't possible.

    Judge not. Etc.

  6. You know what they say about the best laid plans...

    I agree with BLW, (and have experienced it myself) that no matter how careful, responsible and smart you are with money there are always outside factors that can destroy what you have. Some people are lucky and have family willing to help out but for those of us who dont it can be devestating. And in today's economy - even worse.

    I've always been grateful for what I have, even when that's not much, cuz it could always be worse.

  7. This one os tricky for me. I HAD money at one time and was an ass and have nothing to show for it!
    Now I have NO money and am 100 times happier.
    BUT, I stress about it a lot. It seems to be a double edged sword.

  8. I agree! It's so important to feel joy and abundance when you speak for anything in life. Money. Sex. Love. Happiness. Be happy and grateful!

  9. I was talking to a friend about the stigma of having money today actually. I've had it and not had it and having just enough with a little to save was the happiest I have ever been.

  10. Love your attitude!

    But...does this mean your ex, the father of your daughters does not pauy any child support? I got the impression you had sole custody (esp. in the summer time), and that would mean child support from him.


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