This is such great blog fodder that I had to pull myself back together to write it...
A little over a year ago, I was on eHarmony and not enjoying it at all. I was, however, trying to keep my spirits up and enjoy meeting new and hopefully interesting men.
After a few emails and a phone call, I met one guy for lunch who absolutely bored me to tears. I blogged about the lunch and the rest of my dating woes here.
Coincidentally, this was the same post where I realized that I deserved to be adored by the man in my life. I thank Gentleman Jack for filling in that role nicely.
During the boring lunch date, my brain was conjuring up all sorts of ways to scare the crap out of this guy. He was professing how he and his son love the TV show, Leave it to Beaver. He was so enthusiastic about the "Beaver" that I ended up making a double entendre joke about it.
Well, that joke spurred his interest in my sex life and I, having no off-button at the time, spilled all about my sexual exploits in an attempt to send the very obvious message, "You couldn't handle me dude."
Other than a text message inviting me to a movie two weeks later, which I promptly declined, I didn't hear from him after that.
Lo and behold, who should pop into my inbox last night but Mr. Beaver himself. The email was so funny to me that I immediately texted Gentleman Jack to share it.
After giving GJ the story on this guy, I read him the email:
"Hi T, remember me? How are you doing? Things here are going fine. I've been busy with little (Mr. Beaver), work a lot, and dating some. Which is sort of why I am reaching out to you. The last couple months I've been seeing this girl, and she's really fun, nice, smart, etc. And, well, she has an interest in meeting another girl. I remembered you too had an interest there, and (I feel totally awkward writing this) wondered if you would like to meet us out some time and see if there is anything there. I hope that did not come off the wrong way, but I remembered from lunch you were pretty enthusiastic about meeting someone and doing that.
I do hope you and the kids are well and it's beginning to be a good year. Let's be in touch."
Did this guy just approach me for a threesome? OMFG. And then 'Let's be in touch'?!
After I read the email to Gentleman Jack, he began clapping.
GJ: I gotta give it to him. I can't blame the guy for trying.
T: What? Are you kidding me? I don't hear from this guy for an entire year and now he's going to email me for a threesome?
GJ: Well baby, you pretty much blew his mind at lunch that day. He's probably been jacking off thinking about what a freak you are. So then he dates a girl who wants to be with a girl... who do you think he's going to think about? I can't believe you're surprised. You do leave a lasting impression.
I'm still cracking up over here. Wow. Gentleman Jack told me that I should email him back in a short "thanks but no thanks" kind of way but part of me wants to say, "Seriously dude? OMG. Really?!"
Online dating... ain't it fun?