And I just wanna write my blog and feel safe saying what I feel like saying.
Pardon my little tantrum but I'm feeling a bit... WAH!... right now.
Ok, that's mostly out of my system.
I am still not sure what I'll do blog-wise. The more I think about it, the more I think I may archive old posts from the beginning of the blog. After all, I'm not sure anyone is reading the Soldier/deployment posts anymore. And if anyone does have interest in those, I can always offer it in print for a price, I suppose.
Maybe I will print myself a book of those old posts and store them away with my old journals.
Maybe I'll eventually archive the following year and the beginnings of my relationship with my Gentleman. Maybe I'll archive every year. I don't know.
I've spent the day going over my personal Facebook profile page and deleting those of you who know me from the blog. I'm still processing all of that. I may delete you from one of my two profiles if you're friends with my blog FB profile AND my personal FB page.
Decisions, decisions... all in the name of anonymity. In a few months, it won't matter because no one will remember what I look like or who I really am. Right?
I have to do what's right for me. And that doesn't mean running away from this space. This is MY home and dammit, I'm not going to redecorate because someone feels uncomfortable. I'm not hurtful. I'm not saying mean things about anyone. I do my best to avoid being like that in print or in real life.
Frankly, I've been a freakin' chameleon so others don't feel discomfort MY ENTIRE LIFE. For once, this little place in the blogosphere is actually me living my truth. I want to live authentically, here and in person. I LIKE who I am this way.
I'll be damned if I stop now.
In other news, (and perhaps TMI), I did have the Paragard copper IUD inserted as I discussed 2 weeks ago. I cramped hard. I bled hard. I was freaked out by the menstrual cycle I had compared to previous years on my Mirena IUD.
I had an amazing orgasm with my Gentleman once my cycle was over. That orgasm was quickly followed by an intense pain from my ovaries that left me curled up in a ball.
Then I was ovulating and all sorts of weirdness was happening... (and if I told you it *would* be TMI).
After ovulating, I quickly came down with a urinary tract infection. I haven't had a UTI in over a decade.
I went to the doctor today for a sonogram only to find out that the IUD has moved and my body may possibly expel it.
In other words, its not going to work.
My body is reacting to my birth control like its a foreign object. I guess it is, huh?
I promise things are good with me otherwise!
I feel REALLY good about things with Gentleman Jack (who is completely supportive of my bloggy decisions though he chooses not to read), my kids (healthy, happy, smart), my job (fun, keeping me busy, supportive), my home (spring cleaned!), my life (filled with blessings).
Things are really good!
I'm taking each challenge as it comes. Pouting, a little. Stomping my foot, a little. But otherwise accepting that this is, I guess, exactly what's supposed to happen.
Thank you for all the bloggy love, my friends. I'm not going anywhere.