*stomp*
And I just wanna write my blog and feel safe saying what I feel like saying.
*pout*
Pardon my little tantrum but I'm feeling a bit... WAH!... right now.
Grrr...
....
Ok, that's mostly out of my system.
I am still not sure what I'll do blog-wise. The more I think about it, the more I think I may archive old posts from the beginning of the blog. After all, I'm not sure anyone is reading the Soldier/deployment posts anymore. And if anyone does have interest in those, I can always offer it in print for a price, I suppose.
Maybe I will print myself a book of those old posts and store them away with my old journals.
Maybe I'll eventually archive the following year and the beginnings of my relationship with my Gentleman. Maybe I'll archive every year. I don't know.
I've spent the day going over my personal Facebook profile page and deleting those of you who know me from the blog. I'm still processing all of that. I may delete you from one of my two profiles if you're friends with my blog FB profile AND my personal FB page.
Decisions, decisions... all in the name of anonymity. In a few months, it won't matter because no one will remember what I look like or who I really am. Right?
Right?
I have to do what's right for me. And that doesn't mean running away from this space. This is MY home and dammit, I'm not going to redecorate because someone feels uncomfortable. I'm not hurtful. I'm not saying mean things about anyone. I do my best to avoid being like that in print or in real life.
Frankly, I've been a freakin' chameleon so others don't feel discomfort MY ENTIRE LIFE. For once, this little place in the blogosphere is actually me living my truth. I want to live authentically, here and in person. I LIKE who I am this way.
I'll be damned if I stop now.
***
In other news, (and perhaps TMI), I did have the Paragard copper IUD inserted as I discussed 2 weeks ago. I cramped hard. I bled hard. I was freaked out by the menstrual cycle I had compared to previous years on my Mirena IUD.
I had an amazing orgasm with my Gentleman once my cycle was over. That orgasm was quickly followed by an intense pain from my ovaries that left me curled up in a ball.
Then I was ovulating and all sorts of weirdness was happening... (and if I told you it *would* be TMI).
After ovulating, I quickly came down with a urinary tract infection. I haven't had a UTI in over a decade.
I went to the doctor today for a sonogram only to find out that the IUD has moved and my body may possibly expel it.
Nice.
In other words, its not going to work.
*sigh*
My body is reacting to my birth control like its a foreign object. I guess it is, huh?
So anyway...
***
I promise things are good with me otherwise!
I feel REALLY good about things with Gentleman Jack (who is completely supportive of my bloggy decisions though he chooses not to read), my kids (healthy, happy, smart), my job (fun, keeping me busy, supportive), my home (spring cleaned!), my life (filled with blessings).
Things are really good!
I'm taking each challenge as it comes. Pouting, a little. Stomping my foot, a little. But otherwise accepting that this is, I guess, exactly what's supposed to happen.
Thank you for all the bloggy love, my friends. I'm not going anywhere.
I would be very sad if you were to delete your blog! You help me work out so many of my issues as a recent single mother.
ReplyDeleteYou say things that make me thing, make me explore my own feelings/intentions/expectations and that's a blessing.
Sorry to hear about all the IUD troubles. I've been considering one but stories like this freak me the hell out! LOL!
Sometimes life throws us some challenges. You'll get through this, like you always do, as a wiser, stronger woman in the end.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
I duck away for a couple weeks and I come back to this? THIS!
ReplyDeleteI don't know why you're scrubbing the place clean [IUD joke here], but I certainly understand the need for anonymity. And the need for a safe place to vent. And you do what you gotta do, my friend.
Your blog family loves you and wants you to be safe.
Yeah. And this is why I stopped the Mirena. It hurt going in. It hurt him while it was in. (Bee sting in the business every time...)
ReplyDeleteIf you discover some magical method to prevent conception that won't mess with my hormones, work against my weight loss efforts, and won't ruin me in case we decide to procreate...please let me know!
One word; VASECTOMY!
ReplyDeleteYeah, that FB thing can get tricky when trying to seperate the private you from the blogger you. Tough one. Do what you need to girl.
*hugs*
This is the first time I am commenting here, been reading your posts on and off for over 6 months now. Your blog gave me a different perspective on life, not to confine in oneself, be truthful and of all strong...and I am a guy!!!
ReplyDeleteSo, I am really sad at this point as you are considering deleting the blog, but understand the reasons.
Why not make this blog private? authenticate using your FB blog page only ...that way you know who is real and who is not.
Ask how they got to know your blog, I mean anyone srsly interested will reply...think abt it
I think you came to the right decision on your blog - good compromise that isn't too compromising! And damn, I'm not using an IUD ever after that story, eek! ;-) (UTIs are the worst! had my first EVER after things with CBE - go figure - not a fun time).
ReplyDeleteHappy to hear everything else is good.
ReplyDeleteRunning a blog is like running a business. You need to know what you want it to be and follow that mission to help get you through all the crap a few individuals will throw your way. The interesting thing is that they don't hang around for long.
Decisions, decisions - the line between "public" and "private" is very blurred. And sometimes it's important to keep things offline to protect those you love. Listen to your heart - it will tell you what the right thing to do is. Blogs change constantly - this is just a transition to something else.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the link to the print your blog - hadn't seen this resource before.
You guys all rock my socks.
ReplyDeleteReally.
XXOO
I'm with Mindymom on this one. Vasectomy is not a dirty word. 30 minutes in a doctors office and then after that the circus is in town!
ReplyDeleteI am glad that for the most part things are good. No one deserves it more!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are not going anywhere too!!
You need a witness blogger protection program!
ReplyDeleteAs for sex, at least you're getting some. Many of us aren't :-(
LOL @ Dads. So sad, but true. =P
ReplyDeleteYou gotta do what makes you comfortable, as far as your blog goes. I went ahead and removed all my custody posts.. because I didn't want to move blogs around again, if 'the ex' happened to come upon my current one.
As for the IUD: sucky! My step-mom had the copper one, and HATED it because of the cramping.. which is why I opted for the Mirena, despite the fact that it only lasts half the time. I hope that gets all sorted out for you.
YAY glad you aren't going anywhere!
ReplyDelete@ Nicki,
ReplyDeletelol... girl... that's called a condom!
No hormones, no weight gain, no long term effect on your ability to have a baby later!
Can't think of anything else that simple except for a diaphram. I used one after my second was born, the fact that you have plan a little ahead and insert is can kill the mood, but otherwise it works great.
Buy him a pack of lambskin condoms, much better than rubber!
ReplyDeleteglad r. is so supportive....he sounds like a rockstar boyfriend! biology can be a pain, in more ways than one. hope it all works out for you!
ReplyDeleteDear Sexy Legged Woman,
ReplyDeleteI am pleased to see you pouting a bit, I think you don't do it enough. Ugh, birth control. I hope things work out in that area, but condoms are an option?
Hugs and Bacon,
QT
Finally getting around to some tardy blog reading. Bummer about the IUD! And bummer about the bloggy/facebooky/anonymity stuff. I've struggled with that too, been "found out," and had to figure out what to do. Not fun. But I totally agree that you should, at the very least, save yourself a copy. Whatever you decide will be the right thing.
ReplyDeleteHugs.
All right, selfishly, when I haven't had the chance to really catch up with you by phone (which is often), I come here and read the REAL you. You do keep it real. But maybe this means that I will be calling you more often.... Let's talk birth control!
ReplyDeleteits better for the man to use protection rather than you doing so.
ReplyDeleteMarried dating site for those looking for a married affair, or in a relationship,
and looking for a marital affair or married dating.
www.marriedandlooking.co.uk
if I'm allowed to love advice, no sex without pregnancy, at some point is inevitable, because condoms can expire
ReplyDelete;-)