Gentleman Jack and I apparently committed to each other without even realizing it. This, of course, left me questioning damn near everything about him and/or us. It was exhausting and at times, seemed like I should pull the plug on the whole thing.
My sister is going through her own battle that leaves me and the rest of my family feeling helpless.
Friends have decisions that they are making and struggles to process. I've felt disappointed with many people in my life.
I had my own hormonal issues that left me feeling overwhelmed and even more emotional.
I've made mistakes. I've seen other people make mistakes. I've witnessed unfortunate reactions to others' and my own wounds.
All in all, it has been an exhausting year and its only April!
Occasionally, I'll reach a point where I actually say out loud,
"OK. I'm done. I choose happiness again. This worrying and trying to analyze things and be there for people is wearing me out. It is time to pull back, love me, love my children, love my life. I am supported and loved. Everything will work out fine."
I'm at that point again.
Over the weekend at Gentleman Jack's, someone caught a brief moment in time in a photograph. I could stare at this picture for hours. It speaks volumes to me. I can actually FEEL his heartbeat when I see this picture.
This captured moment in time with only one person in my life reminds me of the love around me all of the time.
I'm sure I'll flip back into my control-freak/worry wart/overthinker mode at some point. Its a habit that I'm working on breaking. Happiness, on the other hand, is a habit I'm working on building. There are too many GOOD things in my life to worry about the not-so-good.
Feels pretty damn awesome to be me.
"Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway."
~ Mary C. Crowley
"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
~ Nathaniel Hawthorne
Dude. That picture gave me chills. My arms are FILLED with goose bumps! Awwwwwwwww!!
ReplyDeleteThat is the WARMEST, SAFEST looking picture I have ever seen. I am glad that you are at this place right now.
ReplyDeleteOMG that is a beautiful picture - I can feel the love, I can feel the closeness, I can just feel, well, IT. Awesome. that is beautiful. Just Beautiful!!
ReplyDeletewhoa,T! That picture made me cry. SO happy for you! xoxo
ReplyDeleteLOVE the pic. And you SHOULD be happy in them arms! :) Whooo!
ReplyDeleteI hear you, T! I'm a fellow overthinker and worrier. Between my own divorce, new relationship confusion, a friend who is on the brink of divorce, and the day-to-day pressures of raising my kids and working full-time ... well, I can't believe it's only April, either! Any tips on how to put aside the worrying and analyzing? I'm just not there yet.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy these good times, T...and whenever you're in doubt, just look at that picture and remind yourself of what you have and why you have it.
ReplyDeleteWhat a stunning picture! It does speak volumes!
ReplyDeleteGood for you, T....something that I have come to realize in the last year or so of my life is that happiness IS a choice. Glad to see that's what you're choosing.
ReplyDeleteAwesome photo. :-)
LOVE LOVE LOVE this picture! What a perfect moment in time.
ReplyDeleteWow. We need to surround ourselves with things that remind us of moments of happiness. That's one of the reasons I love our study so much...full of our travel memories. Based on the quality of that hug...it would feel pretty awesome to be me. (Those hugs that totally encompass me are my favorite, too.)
ReplyDeleteJust last night, Sean and I were talking about a couple we know; they've been dating about 2 years, but neither has said the "L" word yet. We both agreed that initially, we didn't like him much; he seemed very superficial, and only showed some genuine thoughts one-on-one ... sometimes.
ReplyDeleteBut Sean said whenever the guy talks about my gal friend, it's in such loving, genuine and insightful ways that he really is not only capable of being genuine, but is genuinely loving to her.
We fret over a lot of things, but we need to see what's right in front of us. In your case, T, that picture really does say 1,000 words. xo, K
Gorgeous...
ReplyDeleteChoose happiness every morning! It's much more fun that way. :-)
ReplyDeleteT, that picture is what everyone wants in their life. So great. And I'm so happy for you. =)
ReplyDelete