Tuesday, June 15, 2010
A Lesson in Silence
at 9:00 PM
For the past two days, I have had no voice.
Except that I have an awful lot to say!
Because my voice comes out as a mere whisper, I've been pushing that whisper as loud as it can go. It hurts me, to push like that. My head has been achy both days.
I've not been listening to music either. I LOVE music. Music is as much a part of my life as food or water. When I hear music, however, I sing. I sing a lot. Except now, my singing isn't working. So my speakers have been as silent as I'm forced to be.
"This is a good lesson in patience for you." Gentleman Jack said to me yesterday, "You have great listening skills. Just gives you a chance to use them."
Yes but did I need to be silenced in order to learn that lesson?!?
All I've done is struggle to speak and fight against the silence. I want to be heard! And in that pushing, I am causing more harm.
This is indeed a lesson in patience. This is also a lesson in acceptance and allowing. Am I allowing my body to know what it needs right now?
Is my body making the choice?
Or is my spirit telling me, "Rest now. Observe. Do not react or force. Sit. Silent. Smile quietly."
Perhaps I will stop fighting those things, my body, my spirit, my energy. Perhaps if I go with it, go with the flow, allow well-being instead of choking it off with my own brute force, perhaps then, my real voice will be revealed.
If I sit and learn my lesson. In Silence.