Yeah, people in our lives are definitely our mirrors, aren't they?
I was driving the girls and I to Grace's ballet recital on Saturday when I heard this song on the radio:
The song brought a pained smile to my face because I remember that I'd added it to a mix cd I made for Soldier during his deployment. The song always makes me think of him.
The very next song was this one:
That was a song that I'd recently added to a mix cd for my Gentleman. He does make me smile big.
As I drove, I thought of the coincidence of those songs being played back to back. And then I had a huge meta-physical revelation...
Both of those men in my life were nothing more than LOVE MANIFESTED.
I've read in both science and spiritual texts that we are nothing more than pure energy. The energy, I've come to believe, is actually Love.
We express that energy in one of two ways: love or a call for love.
I'm either loving or I'm asking for love. At all times.
If I really think of that, of everything in our lives being nothing but energy, and that energy manifests into form, then Soldier, Jack, my ex-husband?? They were each manifestations of love... in a form that I would recognize and allow to love me, if only briefly.
The problem, it seems, is that I attach myself to the form. When that form goes away, for whatever reason, it seems as if love is gone.
But the love is never gone! It only disperses it's energy from that form and into everything around me. Everything that reminds me of love... the breeze in my hair, the wine in my glass, the light from my candle, the warmth of my relaxing bath. Those things are also love manifested.
The love never goes away.
That vent from Friday was something I needed to get out, it was something I needed to experience. I needed to recognize my own call for love in those around me.
I forget to recognize that, at times, and it bubbles to the surface as a painful emotion. I allowed myself to feel that anger (Yay me!) and put it out there - only to realize that I was doing the exact same thing as those people in my life who were ticking me off!
The love never went away. The people in my life were manifestations of my own call for love, just as the relationships of my life were manifestations of love. In the truth of that realization, I can breathe easy again. I can give again. I can also FORgive myself and them for the mistakes we all make and the lessons we must learn on our own.
Maybe this realization sounds a little woo-woo to some. I don't know. I guess I'm looking forward to the day that coming from a loving place isn't woo-woo.
"Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, 'I can work around that. I can make something out of that.'? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you."
~ Elizabeth Gilbert