Monday, June 7, 2010

Sisters

I was having a discussion with my brother this afternoon about my daughters. They will be visiting with my family this weekend and may spend some time around the family issues I've blogged about recently. As I expressed concern for how comfortable they might be, my brother remarked:

"As long as they have each other, they'll be fine."

I had to agree.

***

I have a photo of my daughters on my desk at work in a frame that says, "The very best of sisters". In the photo, taken well over two years ago, they are embracing, face to face.

When others see this photo, they remark at the absolute cuteness of it. They'll also ask, "Are your daughters really that close?"

Yes. Yes they are.

As a working single mother whose tasks far outnumber the hours in the day, my daughters have had to entertain each other, work things out together, fight and play together. Most of the time that they have problems that need solved - little things like opening the jar of peanut butter or big things like how to handle girl drama - I beg them to rely on each other.

I used to joke with Rose, when Grace was just a baby, that I had her sister just for her, so that she could have a playmate.

I think I've also mentioned that Rose knew that I was pregnant with Grace long before I took a pregnancy test to confirm. One day, my sweet 2-year old approached me, quite non-chalantly, and announced, "Mommy, you have a sister in your belly."

And thus their connection was made.

***

When Gentleman Jack was over with his boys, I noticed my daughters leaning on each other, supporting each other, having each others' back. Jack even remarked that the girls were conniving against the boys. They kept a united front. They didn't fight at all.

I see this at their preschool/daycare that they'll be attending all summer. Even though they have different classes and different friends, at the end of the day, when they're the last few there, they play together like old friends.

I wonder if they'll be those sisters who fight with each other, challenge each other, give each other grief, but don't you dare step in to cause strife. They will more than likely pair up and take you down.

***

I love how they love and support each other. Sisterhood is one of the beautiful things in life that I have been fortunate to experience. Sadly, my sister and I are on the outs as she struggles through her divorce and personal battles.

I feel a little disconnected. I feel like I'm not okay because "we don't have each other." I can only assume she feels the same way.

I hope that changes soon. Until then, I'm going to enjoy the beautiful friendship I see developing right before my eyes.

Thanks to Jolene for inspiring this with her own "sisters" post.

14 comments:

  1. I have 2 sisters. One who is 3 years younger and one who is 16 years younger. Growing up my closer in age sister and I fought all the time. I believe that we were frustrated with our home situation (which if you read my blog you'd know was horrible) and took it out on each other. As a result we've not been very close. We've been critical of each other. The sister 16 years younger than me is in college now and we really are close. I try not to burden her with my divorce and worries, but I talk about pretty much everything else wtih her and she talks with me. I enjoy her so much. Now my other sister and I have just recently started trying to get along better. Just today I told her that I like what is happening between us and hope we can only grow closer. Siblings are a wonderful thing. I hope my daughters learn that soon. My oldest almost hates her little sister while her little sister looks up to her as if she were a goddess. She worships her.

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  2. I love how close my girls are, too. I missed out on that myself. I have 3 sisters, but there's a huge age gap in my family, and they're so much older than me that it was more like having 3 extra mothers rather than 3 sisters.

    I always tell my girls to feel grateful that they have a sister - they will always have each other to lean on. :)

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  3. Because of these sister posts, I'm more acutely aware of the chasm that separates me from mine. Hope to build a bridge...soon.

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  4. awwwwww

    I always wanted a brother or sister but I am an only child so I I told myself that I when I had kids, I wanted to two.

    I got my boys, and boy do they fight but I am trying to teach them how to solve the conflicts between themselves and it is hard sometimes.

    But I am glad your girls have such a wonderful relationship. I hope the relationship between your sister and you is on the mend soon.

    I'll take ya as my adopted sister, :).

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  5. Aww....T, this is beautiful. I love how close your daughters are, the comment "you have a sister in your belly" and that I helped inspire your post...XO, thank you.

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  6. I have sometimes thought that siblings mess you up more than your parents!

    It's wonderful if siblings are close; that isn't always the case. How lovely that your girls feel that way about each other!

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  7. I don't have a sister and neither does my Monkeyface. I am an only child, and she functions as one. The idea of siblings is foreign to me, but the concept of family is not. I stand by my comment last week that they learned the art of family from you, and I think this is evidence that you are doing a marvelous job! :)

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  8. Oh my bloggy sisters!! I love you all for your kind words! Thank you.

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  9. My daughters have quite a different dynamic than yours. The older 3 - all 3 years apart - sort of have a love/hate relationship with each other. I wouldn't say they get along as much as tolerate each other but it hasn't been or isn't always this way. I've seen their relationships take many forms as they've grown. The bond with LO is different with all of them too. It's never boring around here though!

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  10. I think this has a lot to do with coming from a divorced home.

    As much as mine fight they are incredible close and actually do not cope too well when seperated.

    Plane Boy and his brother also grew up in turbulent times and are exceptionally close as brothers go.

    Divorce seems to be the tie that binds them and it binds them tightly!

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  11. I have always been envious of sibling relationships. I am an only child (I know that explains a lot) I think it is so incredible the bond they have! Makes me smile!

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  12. I'm a single child. I never had to deal with a brother or sister. So raising sisters has been a tad bit foreign to me.

    My girls are 14 months apart, and they are very close. Claire is wild and crazy when Skylar is around.. when Skylar isn't where Claire is, Claire becomes very quiet and withdrawn. When Claire is gone and it's just Skylar, Skylar will constantly talk about how much she misses her little sister.

    When Skylar starts school later this year, I don't know how Claire is going to handle it.

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  13. As the single mom of four girls I can totally relate! My girls have to depend on each other for some things because there just isn't enough of of me to go around.

    Even though they have seperate rooms they frequently sleep together all snuggled up. The older ones look after the younger ones.

    They are a united front at all times, and rarely fight. I love this about them.

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  14. You girls who have sisters are so lucky :) I always wanted a sister, but alas I got "stuck" with brothers instead. Luckily though, I have a cousin who is like a sister to me, and so many fabulous girlfriends... still though, I imagine it's not quite the same. I hope I have more than one daughter, so they can enjoy the bonds of sisterhood.

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