Sunday, June 20, 2010

Weekend thoughts of this divorced single mom

I was basically lazy all last week.

I didn't have my daughters. They were spending the week with their dad. I missed them terribly but I didn't miss the work involved with being the single parent.

I didn't do laundry.

I didn't cook.

I didn't clean.

As a matter of fact, I was sort of a slob. And damn straight. It felt good to eat out every night, stay up late reading, watch TV... or not, spend time with girlfriends, hang out with my brother playing cards...

I missed them. Yes. I missed their hugs and kisses and noise and presence.

But I didn't miss the work.

***

I picked them up Saturday from their dad's house. He left for a week's vacation today.

He NEVER goes on vacation.

Any place we ever went took planning on my part. He was always up for it but didn't suggest it. He went to a place we said we'd always go to. I don't know who he went with because he's very private, for some reason. Guess its none of my business anyhow.

Besides, I'm traveling back to the ex and my favorite vacation spot with Gentleman Jack's family in a few weeks. Me, my man, his youngest son, my daughters and.... his mother, sister, brother-in-law, nephews.... all of us traveling as one big happy family.

Guess that would make the ex feel a little weird too.

Oh well.

Ain't divorce grand?

***

My brother, my daughters and I went to see the new Toy Story movie on Saturday.

It was REALLY good.

I also enjoyed (and never realized before) that Andy's mom is a single mother. I liked how her children's childhoods looked idyllic and Andy grew into a wonderful young man.

I like to think that my girls will grow up that way. I think single parents raise children who have to grow up faster, become more independent and accepting of the things life hands to them.

Yeah, it may seem to some people that children of divorce get the short end of the stick - and in some ways, perhaps they do - but I also believe that you can become a better person because of your life or in spite of it.

I'd like to think that my girls will grow up and be good people.

I'd like to think so.



How was YOUR weekend?

12 comments:

  1. I felt a lot of stress this weekend, self made stress. I had to be the "mean mom" and do something for my daughters own good that hurts. It's right, but it hurts. Then today it was a house cleaning frenzy, lots of cooking and baking to get a special meal made for my own daddy. I'm now lounging in bed w/ the laptop... BLISS...

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  2. Divorce is tough for both partners if there are kids involved. As a divorced dad it was awful having to collect my children from my former home then take them back on a Sunday evening.

    Having got used to having them around for 2 days and nights it was like my world was empty when they went back to my ex wife.

    So, its tough all round, even for the kids (at least it was for mine).

    They were 4 and 6 then, now 26 and 28 and I am a grandad to 3 so life moves on but I can tell you, those feeling have lived with me ever since.

    Sorry this is so long; good luck:)

    Alan

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  3. I think your girls are growing up wonderfully, T. :-) Divorce is a tough thing for everyone involved, but like many things, it can be a wonderful opportunity for growth and learning...if we choose for it to be. :)

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  4. Ahh, we were all discussing how resilient kids are over dinner at our place last night. (Three out of the six adults present had been divorced...)

    Your children will be wonderful. It's impossible for any other outcome with such a loving family. (And loving extended family...like Racal's.)

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  5. Joyful time when the children visit family. Mine is going to be away for the next 4 days, visiting grandparents. Bliss, me and hubby is going to enjoy this time :)

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  6. here's to occasional slob-hood! glad you got to let it all hang out for a bit.

    i didn't know andy's mom was a single parent, either--very cool. I'll have to take the kids asap!

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  7. Of course your girl will be wonderful. They have a lot of people that love them and a very wonderful mother!

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  8. I love that about kid-free weekends. Nothing HAS to get done :)

    Our weekend was good - spent with Ds family - watching rugby and soccer and packing!

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  9. I think we get so used to doing "the work" that we don't even realize how overwhelming it can be, until we have a few days without it.

    As you said, we miss them, but not the work.

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  10. My kids are with their dad this week and I am so looking forward to change of pace and routine, especially not having to think what to cook for dinner.

    I don't miss them because there's barely a day goes by that I don't see them! My daughter turned up at 6 this morning for an early morning walk :)

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  11. In a weird way, our kids' shuffling back and forth between parents' houses gives each parent a peek into life as an empty-nester, which I will be sooner than you.

    As much as I won't miss the constant cleaning — boys are so messy! — it's hard to think that my house will be so ... empty. My poor dog is going to get a whole lot of mommying!

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  12. My weekend sucked. But it's sucks more for me to be divorced. I have no kids but so far my divorce has been quite devastating even to this day.

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