It was only a few months since I'd asked my ex-husband to move out and already people were trying to set me up on dates.
Isn't it funny that people feel uncomfortable with a person just sitting with their pain? Don't sit still! Have a plan!!
This particular man, (we'll call him HardBody... because uh huh... he does have a nice hard body...), was (and still is!) a friend and former co-worker. At this point, we had known each other over 10 years. I always enjoyed his company, working with him, talking to him and yes, even flirting with him. He also gave the most excellent hugs.
I was in no way ready to date but I did feel very lonely and sexually frustrated. A mutual friend admitted to me that HardBody always liked me. He said that HardBody had very strong feelings for me and if anything, would be a very safe first date for me, post separation. I figured, "How could I go wrong with a friend? And a nice looking one at that?!"
HB was very excited to hear from me. He did know about the separation and was shocked... as he liked my ex-husband very much too. Still, he jumped at the chance to take me out to dinner.
He asked to meet at a really nice restaurant/martini bar. I dressed as sexy as I could because, well, it'd been a very long time since I'd felt sexy. My toddler and infant were staying with my mom that night at my house. I didn't know when I'd be home and was secretly hoping it would be a very late night.
I arrived, sat at the bar and ordered my first martini. Mmmm... that first sip seemed like a first breath. I'd been through so much over the past year. I deserved to be treated well this evening.
HardBody arrived and lifted me from the floor in a giant embrace. I couldn't even remember when I'd last been hugged like that. He ordered a drink and we sat down to chat.
He asked how I was doing and for a little more insight on what happened in my marriage. I talked about it as little as I could as I was still feeling very raw. We finished our drinks and he began to look around.
"So," he asked, "where do you want to go eat?"
Clue #1: If you're already at a really nice restaurant and your date asks "where do you want to eat?"... the date probably isn't off to a great start.
I suggested we eat there since he'd suggested we meet there. Why not? I'd been there before and the food was great.
We sat at a table and began to talk about his personal life. It had been a while since we'd talked and I was eager to catch up. Besides, I wondered if he was dating anyone seriously.
Clue #2: If the waitress comes to take your order and your date speaks up to order before you do, it's probably not a good sign.
Clue #3: If your date then orders a salad for dinner, when you know he has the metabolism of a hummingbird, it's also probably not a good sign.
I was skimming the menu of scrumptious entrees when, stunned, I felt obliged to order a salad too. I certainly didn't want to order a nice meal when my date was only eating a small salad.
To be continued... part 2