Wednesday, September 8, 2010

10 Clues You're on a Bad First Date

It was only a few months since I'd asked my ex-husband to move out and already people were trying to set me up on dates.

Isn't it funny that people feel uncomfortable with a person just sitting with their pain? Don't sit still! Have a plan!!

This particular man, (we'll call him HardBody... because uh huh... he does have a nice hard body...), was (and still is!) a friend and former co-worker. At this point, we had known each other over 10 years. I always enjoyed his company, working with him, talking to him and yes, even flirting with him. He also gave the most excellent hugs.

I was in no way ready to date but I did feel very lonely and sexually frustrated. A mutual friend admitted to me that HardBody always liked me. He said that HardBody had very strong feelings for me and if anything, would be a very safe first date for me, post separation. I figured, "How could I go wrong with a friend? And a nice looking one at that?!"

HB was very excited to hear from me. He did know about the separation and was shocked... as he liked my ex-husband very much too. Still, he jumped at the chance to take me out to dinner.

He asked to meet at a really nice restaurant/martini bar. I dressed as sexy as I could because, well, it'd been a very long time since I'd felt sexy. My toddler and infant were staying with my mom that night at my house. I didn't know when I'd be home and was secretly hoping it would be a very late night.

I arrived, sat at the bar and ordered my first martini. Mmmm... that first sip seemed like a first breath. I'd been through so much over the past year. I deserved to be treated well this evening.

HardBody arrived and lifted me from the floor in a giant embrace. I couldn't even remember when I'd last been hugged like that. He ordered a drink and we sat down to chat.

He asked how I was doing and for a little more insight on what happened in my marriage. I talked about it as little as I could as I was still feeling very raw. We finished our drinks and he began to look around.

"So," he asked, "where do you want to go eat?"

Clue #1: If you're already at a really nice restaurant and your date asks "where do you want to eat?"... the date probably isn't off to a great start.

I suggested we eat there since he'd suggested we meet there. Why not? I'd been there before and the food was great.

We sat at a table and began to talk about his personal life. It had been a while since we'd talked and I was eager to catch up. Besides, I wondered if he was dating anyone seriously.

Clue #2: If the waitress comes to take your order and your date speaks up to order before you do, it's probably not a good sign.

Clue #3: If your date then orders a salad for dinner, when you know he has the metabolism of a hummingbird, it's also probably not a good sign.

I was skimming the menu of scrumptious entrees when, stunned, I felt obliged to order a salad too. I certainly didn't want to order a nice meal when my date was only eating a small salad.


To be continued... part 2


  1. Clue #1 would have done it for me.

  2. Clue #1 is hilarious!!!! Come on guys, have a plan!

    I find it incredibly difficult to spend time with people who are just sitting with their pain, holding it, refusing to let it go. I send them some compassion, and move on.

  3. off topic,
    How do you follow peoples blogs so that I can keep track of whats going on. I have a couple of people that I want to follow but don't know how to do it. any help would be appreciated.

    Thanks in advance

  4. Wow. Can't wait for the next installment.

  5. Sorry T, I should have emailed my question to you....

  6. Ha! I love this idea for a post! I should have thought of that ;-) Can't wait for the next installment!

  7. Yeah, #1 would have turned me off. WTF? Can't wait to read the rest!

  8. Yikes...did he think that by starting at a nice place he would be impressing you? Then when he asks where to eat you'd suggest Chili's?

    I'll be curious to read the continuation of this one...

  9. Perhaps, he thought you were more of a McDonalds type of girl!

    After all, you can't beat those Golden Arches!


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