Friday, September 24, 2010

Best laid plans...

About a month ago, I received a phone call from my friend Jim (Depot Dad).

After some small talk about his worsening health and the hopes of a few more experimental drugs left as options, he directed me to the reason for his call.

But wait... let me back up a moment.


As some of you may or may not know, I found Jim's blog through Ms Single Mama's blog and followed his comments on Rachel (Single Mom Seeking)'s blog.

Jim actually surprised Rachel at this book reading to meet her for the first time. He was smitten. He's also quite the handsome flirt!

Rachel and Jim became fast friends as they only lived an hour away from each other.


Because of his cancer diagnosis and several disheartening phone calls with him, I decided to fly to San Francisco to meet him in December 2008. I also befriended Rachel and David (Dadshouse) on that same trip.

Rachel spent more time with Jim, becoming closer friends and a wonderful support to him during his illness. Naturally, when her Lucky Guy proposed (right after Jim's birthday party!), they both agreed that Jim should play a part in the wedding.

I also received an invitation to Rachel's wedding but was at a loss as to whether I go to California for her wedding or travel there sometime earlier to see Jim.

I was hoping to do both on one visit.

However, Jim's health was rapidly declining....


Now to get back to the phone call from a month ago.

"I want to ask you a favor," Jim began.

Well, I couldn't WAIT to hear. I'd been wondering how I could help from 1000 miles away.

"I may not make it to Rachel's wedding."

Before I could protest, he continued.

"I'd like you to stand in for me. I'm going to write something and I'd like you to read it for me."

I was breathless.

"Absolutely! How can I refuse that?! But you'll be my date! We'll go together!"

He played along with my hopeful offer of being his "arm candy". Then, as we were getting off of the phone, he said,

"I'm very sad that I won't see you again."

And my heart broke.


After the phone call, I was amused and slightly perturbed by his making the decision for me. I REALLY wanted to see him. I bugged him about being my date for the next few weeks until he became silent...

So, Jimbo, this one's for you.

This weekend, Rachel, her new husband, your best friend Phil, and I will all be toasting to you, our friend.

I know you'll be there sending blessings to all of us.

I hope angel dust tastes good with champagne.

Love love love love love.


  1. Say Jim's words loud and clear, with a little smirk on your face, just as he would.

    And give Rachel a big hug from me!

  2.'re a good friend and he was lucky to know you! *hugs*

  3. Oh T- I only followed Jim for the past year, and read his ups and downs. What a wonderful life so short. Cheers to him and cheers to the friends he left behind.
    I am sure he will be there (the wedding) in spirit.
    (notthesoccermom on twitter)

  4. Been thinking about Jim a lot lately. So much going on for me right now and then in the midst of it all, his passing...

    I think he'll be there at that wedding in spirit for sure. Wish I could hear you read his words and I'm sure there wont be a dry eye in the place when you do. So Jim-ish to make that decison for you too. I love it. What an honor.

  5. I did not know him at all and just read his blog when I saw the candle flickering on your blog, but I am so glad he was able to ask you this and you are able to do it. It sounds like you were all lucky to have each other.

  6. :-(

    I'd be very interested to know what Jim had to say at Rachel's wedding.

    I'm sure you were an amazing stand-in for an amazing man.

    * hugs *

  7. He will absolutely be there in spirit, for sure. It's so good that you're able to do this for him.


  8. I'm crying big salty tears right now. And I'm thinking that angel dust and champagne are the perfect pairing, just like chocolate.


  9. there are no words.....beautiful..heart breaking..amazing- do not do this situation justice!

  10. I never had the opportunity to follow him or get to know him, but through your words on this blog I feel his loss. His life had such an effect on so many, that's obvious. I wish for you one more warm moment in his presence, while you read his words and drink that champagne.

  11. I think it's beautiful that you're going to stand in for him!

  12. wow, that's amazing and beautiful and tragic all wrapped into one. You'll do him proud, I am sure, and I'll be thinking of you (and Jim)! XO!

  13. I hope that you all raised a glass and took a moment to laugh and share your good memories of Depot-Dad.

    I followed his blog for about three months, and I can tell my the comments here and elsewhere that he was indeed a good, kind, loyal friend.

    I hope the wedding was lovely, and I too would love to know what he wrote.

  14. I hope everything went well at the wedding. I am sure it was beautiful and emotional. *Hugs* to all of you!

  15. Very touching. Wonderful tribute to a classy guy.


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