Friday, October 22, 2010

Note to Self

Gentleman Jack has it right. Mark had it right.

In order to feel valued, I have to think of myself as VALUABLE. Period.

When I believe that my ex-husband's relationship with our daughters needs help, I need to be strong enough and clear enough in MY OWN VOICE to speak up and say something to him. He respects what I have to say. He doesn't realize the value of his presence in their lives. He wasn't even aware of the value of his presence in MY life until I told him how much he was missed, he didn't believe me and bowed out anyway.

Maybe he doesn't realize his own value either?

When I feel that I have no value at a job that seems to take advantage of me, I have to remember that I'm allowing these things to happen. I haven't valued my job either... because I'm qualified for so much more. But that doesn't mean that the job doesn't have any value. More than likely what it means is that if I were doing something else and another person was in this position, I wouldn't value the position either. I need to remember that I AM making a difference.

I must empower MYSELF.

My time has value. My abilities have value. My voice has value. My feelings have value. My ideas have value.

No more excuses or apologies for who I am or whom I'm supposed to be. No more victimhood. Time to take this bull by the balls.

I am worth this blessed life I lead and the abundance that is always available to me.

9 comments:

  1. I am working with a lot of different personalities at the moment – and it seems that the common theme is that they can not see their own value or believe that they are lovable because they do n’t recognize the value themselves. They can’t believe another values or loves them because it is something they don’t give themselves.

    Finding voice is a challenge that I am currently embracing… and recognizing that I might find my voice and there are still those that refuse to listen or deny its power… and it is them and not me. (Check out my posts about the mouse, the voice, and the quest!!)

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  2. This one got me, t. I forgot that I have value. Criminy.

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  3. This is why I read... :)

    You're a woman that I admire, without even knowing you in person, or really knowing you at all, other than through your entries.

    In a lot of ways, you seem to have it all together, and you have things that some of us are still wanting, like the beautiful relationship with a man who adores you, you're beautiful, you have your adorable little girls, etc. But you also admit to things that a lot of us deal with, and assume that you wouldn't (just looking in from the outside).

    Over the past couple of years, I've been pining for a relationship like the one you describe. It gives me hope that I'll find someone, but also reminds me of something that I used to keep in mind all the time: that having that relationship won't make everything okay, that it comes with its own worries and responsibilities. (This applies to other things as well, outside of relationships.) This pining has resulted in some depression (not all of it, but some), with my waiting for something to happen, that didn't happen until I got so pissed off at someone that I no longer wanted to know them; they approached me in the way that I'd been hoping for, eventually, but hurt me in the meantime; I tend to forget my own value, until I get taken for granted, and just lose it - or until I calmly tell someone where to go, in similar circumstances. I've missed out on things in the past, due to my holding back in some way/passing something up out of fear (forgetting my value).

    You tend to write about things that I'm also dealing with in some way, either directly, or mentally chewing over.

    I didn't mean for my comment to be so long, and if I've communicated what I wanted to say, in a poor manner, than I apologize, but I'm in a rush.

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  4. Good for you, T! And thanks for posting this...I need to read this right now. :-)

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  5. you're SO right. I needed this too (with the job thang in mind). I HATE not feeling valued at work, but I just need to work harder to change that. Good push I needed to try harder at that. thank you!

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  6. Everyone has value. It is identifying the value that can be hard sometimes.

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  7. I am definitely trying to find my value and worth. Working on it.. it's a hard process. *sigh*

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  8. I wonder why so many of us have this problem.
    Where has a whole society of people lost themselves? And then, doesn't this kind of put a whole different perspective on how we look at others. People that we assume as idiots or assholes maybe are just the same as us and don't see there value.
    This post makes me think for sure!
    I know I need to find my value. I have been struggling with this my whole life.

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