I believe that once you open your eyes to see something differently, once your mind is willing to let go of current judgments, once you are willing to say, "I don't know", things happen.
I remember declaring "I don't know" back in February of 2009. I wasn't happy in my failing relationship, knew I deserved more and declared it so.
I declared it with my job recently as well. Not knowing what my future held but realizing that I was out-growing my current position.
To me, "I don't know" are very powerful words meaning:
"I surrender to what is and I'm malleable enough to accept what is to come."
With the recent revelation and declaration about my career crisis, I went with a co-worker to a women's seminar. There I met with inspiring and powerful women who began their journeys as single mothers too.
Between that seminar and discussions with Gentleman Jack, I realized that I was shutting myself off, limiting myself because I am a single mother. Yet, when I think about it, all that I've encountered recently are powerful and amazing single mothers! From attending Rachel's wedding and meeting her tight-knit group of single mother friends (who lovingly surrounded her after her child's father disappeared) to the women at the seminar.
Why do I have such a limited view of my own single parenthood when I've seen the very definition of powerful?!
Plain and simple, I'm not nearly as career driven as I was before children. I desire balance in my life, between work and home. I desire balance of me time and their time. Balance is good. And I absolutely believe that it IS possible.
And perhaps, I need these single mothers in my life as friends... just for the simple fact of understanding.
Since changing my mind and declaring "I don't know", I've had a job interview that showed up out of nowhere. I've met amazing and powerful women who invigorate my opinion of myself and what I CAN do. There have been many coincidences and divine interventions...
No resolution on anything, just yet... but I feel it coming. Soon.
Now, if I can only keep remembering that I'm worth it.
Aren't all of us worthy of divine wondrousness?