Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Public Service Announcement for Partners of Hormonal Females

Plain and simple: It sucks to be you.

I don't really have any good advice for you. When you ask, "What can I do?", I really don't know.

Hormonal issues don't ALWAYS mean depression. It doesn't mean a death spiral into months of suicide watch or anything. It just means ... hey, I'm temporarily sad. I'll get over it.

There's no need to get frustrated and feel helpless. Sadness isn't something you can talk into submission. It just IS. There's no logic or rationale behind it, especially where hormones are involved.

You can talk to me logically and rationally all that you want but I'm emotional.

Emotional <> Logical

That doesn't mean the logical person that you know is completely gone. It doesn't mean that I don't KNOW that I'm allowing this bad feeling right now. It doesn't mean that I don't REALIZE I'm not being rational.

But at the moment, the grown-up in me is tersely looking down at the 3-year old who's throwing a temper tantrum inside of me.

If I've learned anything from being a mom, sometimes, those temper tantrums are better left ignored and allowed to run their course. Just wait patiently and I will be back to normal soon.

Just like always...

I had no idea that getting a little bit of extra love and nurturing from my daughters (who lovingly and instinctively know what to do when Mommy feels like this) would make me feel better. Maybe I just need my girlfriends. Maybe I need my mom.

Yes, I know that men can't get away with feeling sad for more than a day. I realize that other guys would say, "Get over it" to each other. I'm sorry. It's a little different for us girls. I'm sorry if it doesn't seem fair.

And to my man in particular (or any other long distance partners out there), I KNOW that if you were with me, YOU would be doing the nurturing, the holding, the loving adoration. Which is yet another reason why this is so hard for me and you. You can't. You aren't here.


Which brings out even more of the tantrum.


I CAN tell you this, my sweet love:

If you will continue to be patient and understanding, if you will stop talking when I ask you to (since right now, any and everything you say will and can be used against you), if you will continue to check in on me, try to make me laugh, let me know you're thinking of me (even when I know I'm irritating the crap outta you)...

if you keep doing THAT...

...the next time I see you I will suck your dick so good that your head will spin.




  1. Wow, great post, I'm feeling the same way, but for different reasons..I love to read everything you write, your awesome!


  2. When I was married and my wife went through hormonal periods, I would run and hide!

    Love it when a woman lives by the mantra in the last line of your post... Love it.

  3. I just choked on my skittle. You rock!

  4. Glad I wasn't drinking anything, I definitely would have spit it all over the keyboard reading those last couple of lines!

    I feel you on the hormones and depression..I'm there, been there,
    and doing that.

    Big hugs T!

  5. It's hormonal self is about 12 years old. Snotty and full of snappy comebacks, giving a big ole finger to the world.


    And, I, too, live by the last line of your post. And my man thanks me for it. ;-)

  6. Love, love, love this.

    Truth, Mama!!

  7. You know, I really wasn't pulling for you until that last line....I think you've swayed me however.

  8. oh hahaha - I promised D just the other day a bj as soon as the morning sickness stops because not only has their been morning sickness but there has been the WORST mood swings!

    I cry, scream, laugh and retreat all in 10 minutes!

  9. Just like a woman, to dangle sex as a reward ...

    OK, I jest (sorta, kinda). But, I have to ask you, T — what similar behavior of a man would you be willing to tolerate in a way you're asking?

    If this is the worst women get, what is the worst a man can get? And, would we women be so forgiving ... and think a great big O at some point would make it all right?

    Not trying to be difficult (or hormonal!); just curious ;-)

  10. It can be a little bit like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. My sons have seen it over the years, and been incredibly loving through it. (Aren't some of us truly fortunate?)

    I hope that seeing and dealing with the female hormonal equation will make them more tolerant men. They recognize the patterns, they point them out, and they don't take them personally.

    Feel better soon. Or more specifically, feel. It's part of the female landscape - at times difficult, but also our gift.

  11. I really had fun with this blog post. It is rare that I'm able to laugh at such times. It made me feel good to give it a lighter focus at the end.

    @Kat... isn't what drives men and women different so the reward would be different?

    Me? I'll take a massage or sex as reward for any sort of bad boy behavior and HAVE actually. :)

  12. Oh, T. You have a knack for making my choke out of surprise, with some of the endings of your posts. Lol. I never see it coming.

    But great post! Men need to read and remember.. we are ALL hormonal and go through this. We can't be freaking sunshine and rainbows 24/7.


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