Thursday, October 14, 2010

Why do you read?

I received an email this morning from a longtime reader/lurker. I love when I receive those. I do feel a bit validated that this blog means something to someone other than myself.

Sometimes I stop to fully appreciate why I blog.

I have great friends that were discovered through blogging. I blog for support. I blog to get the crazy out of my head. I blog to share my stories. Or I blog because I simply want my voice heard.

Sometimes, I want to ask you, the reader: Why do you read?

I see the number of visits to this blog on a daily basis and I wonder who you all are. Compared to the number of comments, it appears that many of you just read or lurk and move on. I often wonder why? What are you taking away when you drop by? Is any of this, my deepest thoughts and ramblings, helpful to you? Is it simply nice to escape into someone else's space for a while?

Are you relating to my experience?

A few of my friends read and comment rarely. One friend even said to me, "I feel like I'm outside of the little group of regular commenters."

I'm not sure what that means. I understand that sometimes what you have to say has already been said. But still, I want to know you. I want to know why you come here. What brought you here? Why do you keep coming back?

Maybe it's the marketing career that leads me to ask these questions...

Your comments also drive me to keep writing. For those of you who do not comment, but instead send me personal emails sharing your stories, I thank you. Seriously. From the bottom of my heart. I keep everyone of those emails and smile or cry when I read them. You all inspire me!

I think as a blogger, we all want to be heard. Thank you for listening.

As a reader, I want to hear you too! I know you have stories too. Please share.

Feel free to comment anonymously.


  1. We want to be heard, sure... But I like listening just as much.
    I think that if you're not open to listening, you'll never be open to learning new things!

  2. Hey I used to be a regular commenter, and now I'm finding it hard to get back into it. I'm trying really! You know I love you, right?

  3. I read because I want to know you... not the Blog you, but the You, You.

    I like the "YOU"

    Hugs and kiss'

  4. I read because you make me think of things from a totally different perspective. You are more introspective than I am normally. You also are more emotional in general and more nurturing so I like to read your view on relationships, raising kids, growing as a person.

    And honestly...sometimes you're just damn entertaining girl!

    Keep on bloggin' and I'll keep on stopping by whenever I can!

    Little Ol' Me

  5. Thanks T :)

    I am going to make an effort to start that I've come out of the lurker closet and all.

  6. Hooray!

    Comment love is the best!

  7. Hey T,

    I stumbled onto this blogging thing completely by accident a few months ago. I feel like a total stalker and it's very addictive. I found you when you commented on someone else's blog. You are quite fasinating. On your 10/12/10 I clicked on "my marriage" Goodness! I was at work and could not get much work done until I had read all 10 entries. So here goes... (my very first comment in this blog world)
    What are you taking away when you drop by? You mean I am not the only woman out there who had an affair with a married man? Someone else has felt the same pleasure, pain, passion, guilt?
    Is any of this, my deepest thoughts and ramblings, helpful to you? Helps to know I am not alone in some of my craziness.
    Is it simply nice to escape into someone else's space for a while? Well yes, there is that. You are a great writer and I would read your book for sure :0}


  8. I'm part commenter/part lurker. I read your blog because it is, clearly, written from the heart. I love that you give a part of "you"" to us the readers. Your honesty is clear and your writing is beautiful!

  9. I read to understand how other people are different than me, and to remind myself that my perspective on life is just that, mine. Others view the world in much different ways.

    That said, regarding blogs - how much traffic is direct visits, vs. search results? That can give a hint why people are reading. Either way, you are engaging folks, and that's great.

  10. I read somewhere that about 1% of blog visitors will leave a comment, except for my HNT posts that estimate holds up pretty well on my blog.

    A reader once e-mailed me to say that she didn't feel comfortable commenting, she felt like she was intruding on a conversation between friends. I thought of that when you mentioned "regular commenters".

  11. Hi T,
    I'm a lurker from Australia, and I read for many reasons...
    * love the honesty, raw emotions and observations
    * you have the best blog roll so I come here to link to other sites. I like that I can see the updated ones easily
    * I LOVE the sexiness of you. LOVE LOVE LOVE that!
    * you entertain me. Simple as that!

    I check your site every day, keep up the writing and being you,
    love from Tansy x

  12. Ok it's true....I lurk! Really, I love reading what you have to say. There is so much of it that I relate to and it's nice to read your perspective. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. I will do my best to comment more often...

  13. As a blogger myself, I know how important comments are. If I take the time to read someone's post, I generally try to leave some sort of comment, even if it's just a hug, so that they know that I was there and paying attention.

    It's good to know that people care. :-)

  14. I rarely comment because most things are just so outside of my experiences... and I'm not sure what I'd say, or if it would add anything.

    But I do love to read, and check regularly. I think at least part of it is because your experiences, emotions, words are so genuine and often moving.

  15. Great idea for a post! I read because you inspire me. And you and Rascal inspire me. And I think you're just pretty fab! XO!

  16. I am a big fan of your raw honesty. You are for sure beautiful from the outside and even beautifuller from the inside. Through you I am learning more to accept everything about myself...I've witnessed from the comments that you are still cared and loved despite putting out your weaknesses. You are fabulous and I love everything about you. Hugs!

  17. I read because I see in you a kindred spirit. Of course your spirit is way cooler and outgoing than mine, but still...many commonalities.

    Keep sharing.

  18. I am a regular reader, frequent lurker, infrequent commenter.

    I continue coming back here because of your authenticity. I love the fact that you ask hard, and sometimes very raw, questions. I love the fact that you don't back away from the messiness of life and of love and of sex. I love the fact that you are adult enough to recognize that you have made mistakes, but mature enough to forgive yourself and move on.

    Mostly, I love that you are honest and respectful of people.

    I must admit that at the beginning, I felt like your commenters were kinda a "close-knit group" and I felt a little weird leaving comments. But I've since gotten over that.

    You write things about topics/feelings/issues I'd like to tackle....if I was blogging anonymously. As long as you keep doing that....I'll keep coming back....:*)


  19. I read because I enjoy your thoughts.

  20. I read for a lot of reasons. At one point, I was drawn in by your tri-training. Then I found myself relating to your healing from a relationship that ended. Some days I relate and agree with your thoughts, other days I find myself realizing that I never would have thought of the same situation in the same way and I enjoy that new perspective. I worry sometimes, being a single parent, that I may be thinking about things all wrong, but there isn't another grown up there to share their perspective. I guess I consider you, and many of those on your blog roll, as alternate grown up perspectives on my single mom life.

  21. Hi, T
    I'm writing this from Japan. I pray that you understand my poor English. I found your blog from Google by accident. Honestly searched key-wards were anal, pussy, plug, and herself. Yes, from very sexual purpose,lol However maybe if I didn't use those words, I wouldn't find you. Of course, although I didn't accomplish my first one, I found you instead!! How pretty much happy and very lucky were! I read some of your pages and bookmarked your blog instantly and almost automatically. I'm a new reader, so I don't know so much about you. But I want to say just this.
    I love your straight thinking and your living way. And of course I love you and your blog.

    Thank you for your time , sharing your energy,



  22. In May 2008 I learned that my husband of 18 years wanted a divorce. This resulted in the most life and soul-altering experience laced with a kind of pain I had never experienced before. I really needed to hear others who may be or have been in a similar situation share their stories and pain. I really needed to know I wasn't alone. Though, everyones experience is a little different, I have appreciated the openness of bloggers all over the web who pour out their hearts for all of us strangers to read. Thank you for sharing your experience. I enjoy checking in even if I haven't commented much.
    God Bless.

  23. Sorry I didn't write my reason...
    I feel my thought is very near with you. But you do what I can't do. Therefore I can receive some energy from your blog and feel also I have to do like you. That is my reason.

  24. Hi T, I have been reading your blog regularly for a few months, and it's one of my faves. I read for lots of reasons. I am also a single mother, and also interested in spirituality. You are positive and authentic. You are someone who does lots of soul-searching. I can relate on so many levels. Like another reader said, it feels like you are a kindred spirit. I will comment more often.

  25. ^ Love me some Linda!

    I read cuz I love you T. I read cuz you and I have had similar experiences, and not always from the same perspective. I dig that. I read cuz you my friend, are INSPIRING.

    Much love,


  26. These comments are so freakin' awesome!!! Love these! Thank you all so much.

  27. Sometimes I can relate, sometimes I can't. Sometimes I have something to say in response, sometimes I don't. There, that clear it up for you :)

  28. These comments are amazing! This has to be my favorite post ever on any blog. Very touching.
    I agree with everything said here. I have been reading for a couple of years and amazed every day at how much you grow and inspire. A lot of your experiences are the same as mine and I hope to grow as much as you have. You inspire me more than any other blogger ever has. Mostly because I can relate to you in so many ways.


Thank you for leaving me some comment love!