Sunday, October 24, 2010

With Friends

I've had this weekend to myself, which is rare. I had a really great Friday night (Go Texas Rangers!!) and Saturday. I like this. I enjoy spending time alone or with friends.

With friends....

I told Gentleman Jack about mid-week that I really wish I could plan some time with my girlfriends. Problem is, most of their husbands wouldn't allow them to spend time alone with me. Not even to just go out to dinner and have a glass a wine. They don't trust me. Or maybe they don't trust their wives.

Then I have a few single girlfriends who have busy lives of their own. And I wonder if they just don't want to hear me talk about my Gentleman. Or perhaps I can't relate to their need to go out and party.

I don't know.

All I know is that I miss girl time. I miss chick flicks and emotional discussions and Cosmopolitan martini's and support. I miss feeling sisterhood, with the one I grew up with and the ones I adopted along the way.

It's still important to me. It still means something to me to have that estrogen-filled presence in my life.

The really REALLY sad part of it is that instead of picking up the phone to call anyone, I'll sit here and assume...

They have families to spend time with.

They have husbands to watch Sunday football with or go to church with.

They have they're own independent Sunday schedules that don't involve me.

Or maybe I won't call because I have such a small amount of time available to spend with girlfriends that I feel guilty for assuming that my one day, out of months of unavailability, would be important enough for them to put their lives on hold for me.
You have to BE a friend in order to HAVE a friend, you know...


  1. I don't have hardly any female friends anymore. The ones I thought I had I realized were using me for some reason or another. So I have just distanced myself from them.

    Now I am slowly looking for real friendships, where it is give and take instead of me giving all the time.

    If I was in TX I would totally hang out with you T.

  2. Totally wish we lived in the same city...I'd love to hang out with you.

    I know what you mean about missing "sisterhood". I feel the same way. In the last couple of years I've lost pretty much all the close female friends that I had. The funny thing is, it's not them in particular that I miss, but the feeling of friendship...

  3. 1.) If we lived near each other, I would have totally spent some girl time with you. You'd probably be like, "OMG - get this crazy girl away from me." ;)

    2.) I hear you sistah. I hear you. I do the EXACT same thing. I just hate to bother people, and I ASSUME I'm bothering them. Drives me (and them) nuts.

    Of course now that I've moved, I only have one girlfriend.. and it's my cousin. And I have absolutely no social life at this time. So ugh.

  4. I can totally relate.I said in a group I attended that I didnt have any friends. I think people were surprised. I have a couple of friends but we never do anything. They are married and busy. I'm usually ok with it. I am busy too with my kids but there are times when I wished I had a buddy to go to a movie with. I hesitate to call...don't feel like it or something. Need to push myself more I guess.

  5. I feel pretty lucky to have me a ShaNaNa in my life. Thank you for the reminder T. :)

    I'll be your girlfriend! Just move here, see how easy??

  6. My issue isn't taht I don't have friends, I just have friends who aren't single moms. I've got one girlfriend, who I've been close to since HS, who doesn't come around often because she doesn't like children very much. She can handle my daughter in small doses, which doesn't say a lot.

    My other girlfriends also have children, so that makes it hard to just get out and have a girls night. With 3 other single moms we usually have babysitters on opposite nights.

    I would also, love love love to hang out with you T - if I didn't like in Kentucky.

  7. Amanda, the girl who can't spell.October 25, 2010 at 10:40 AM time I'll proofread better ;)

  8. I would totally hang out with you too!
    I was thinking the same thing this weekend. I really need a girls night.

  9. As one of those people who feels like all my busier friends are constantly blowing me off, I'm thrilled when one of them contacts me on their one day of availability to do something.

    My feeling is that it's the responsibility of the person whose life is busier to reach out to those of us sitting at home alone. I assume you're busy-- you assume I'm available.

    So don't feel guilty. Reach out. If someone keeps blowing you off, then back off and let them come to you.

    It's nice to know I'm not the only person who has these issues with adult friendships.

  10. Count me among the women who wished they lived near you!! I'd be calling you all the time to go on hikes, cycle, have coffee, make writing dates... (And by the way: Your Texas Rangers against my California Giants. Oh boy!!)

  11. Wow, I suddenly feel like I am not alone in thinking about this.

  12. *happy sigh* I'm so glad to have this blog just for the female support I get from all of you. And yes, it would be fun to be in the same town!!

    Thanks ya'll.

  13. agree 100%!! i know I just wrote on this in a similar vein. girl friend time is SO important. I crave it. And echo what others say - would LOVE to hang out IRL ;-)

  14. Well I'm so glad we connected on Sunday after all! I really, truely enjoyed it. Please don't hesitate to call or wander down the street when you want. There really are a lot of times I'm jsut hanging around at home. :) Hugs!

  15. Me too, KK! I'm so happy that you just happened to call right after I published this. Let's get together again soon.


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