Friday, November 19, 2010

Sometimes a kick in the ass is exactly what I need

I've written recently about the hormone problems that I've been having. I admitted to cystic acne... something that has affected me emotionally as well as physically. I am going through many treatments to resolve these skin imperfections including hormonal testing with my doctor which involves drawing lots of blood. My doctor finally diagnosed me with adrenal fatigue.

I also know, somewhere deep inside, that sometimes, our enemies are our greatest teachers.

***

I remember being diagnosed with gestational diabetes during my first pregnancy. I hated it. I was miserably depressed at the failure of my own body.

Then I learned that my father had diabetes. (I had no idea.)

I learned how to eat like a diabetic, giving me not only a healthy baby, but a healthier body and an awareness of foods that make me feel terrible.

Gestational diabetes... was a great teacher.

***

In between pregnancies, I was told that my cholesterol was too high.

I was trying to eat like a diabetic though I wasn't technically having diabetic issues any longer. I knew it was a genetic disorder that ran in my family.

With a low cholesterol diet and a diabetic diet, there is nothing else to eat, really. That's when I decided to go on Weight Watchers.

I learned to eat in moderation. I learned which foods affected my moods and my weight, when and how often to eat, and what to eat. Because of WW, I lost weight and was healthier than I'd ever been.

High cholesterol was a great teacher.

***

In the past month, I have avoided looking at myself in the mirror, hidden my face from cameras, turned off lights when I'm not wearing make-up with my Gentleman.

And ya know what?

NO MORE.

Because of this diagnosis, I'm learning, yet again, how to nurture my body. This time I have to make few dietary changes but instead need to shift back into the awareness of when to eat and what my body needs.

I have to change my attitude. Instead of kicking my own ass (as I'm known to do), I have to treat myself with gentleness. I actually find myself saying, "STOP" when my mind begins to flood with negativity.

I am learning that I must honor my needs and retrain my brain.

Instead of fighting these skin irritations, I will look and give gratitude. My body is trying to tell me what it requires to be healthy. How fortunate am I that the irritation of my health appeared in something as innocent as a few blemishes on my face that can easily be covered?!? How blessed am I that I see the message loud and clear?!?

I am learning, again, how to take care of myself.

Thank you, adrenal fatigue, acne, hormonal issues, for being my teacher.

7 comments:

  1. So proud of you! I'm having some issues with my body, too. I know how S loves a flat stomach. And I've been hiding behind big clothes and bathrobes for the last month or so as my middle has expanded.

    Today, for the first time, I stood proud and naked in the bathroom getting ready for work.
    And you know what? All he did was come over and rub my baby belly and marvel at my burgeoning boobs.

    I think we are our worst critics and sometimes we need to give the men we love a chance to show us that they love us no matter what. Your Gentleman will never let you down. You know this.

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  2. That is a great way of putting it. I need to take a page out of your book, because I've been so negative on myself lately and it's driving me crazy. I really shouldn't be, but sometimes the mind is a powerful weapon.

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  3. You know, I'm a firm believer that The Universe provides us with exactly what need at any given moment. It's just that sometimes we don't always see it. It's good to see how awake you are to the gifts of The Universe... :-)

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  4. I love this. It’s amazing what we learn from our biggest challenges. For a long time I believed that the whole ‘bad times make you stronger’ thing was a bunch of crap - how does laying on the floor in a ball crying day after day get you anywhere? But it’s ultimately true. We are our own greatest teacher as long as we are willing to learn from our experiences, and to allow ourselves to be students. Great post as usual T.

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  5. Oh, T. I needed this reminder. I've been a bit depressed lately, and I've been having my own facial break outs. This is my body's way of telling me to get with the program, and you're right. Thank you!

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  6. I am so, so, so proud of you for this. What a great way to take control of yourself and do positive things with it! You are always an inspiration to me!

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