When I wrote last week that I was overwhelmed because of all that I do at work and in my life, I had no idea of the Dr. Mom/Vet Mom role I'd have to play today. Ugh. I don't even wanna talk about it.
What I do want to talk about is: I finally met the ex's girlfriend.
And ya know... it's gotta be tough to be the girl to follow me.
I know that they've been dating for a while now but I'm not clear how long. I do know the kids like her and her two children. My ex-husband seems to be happier that she's in his life so... right on! Both of those score huge in my book.
Part of me wonders if she makes him happier than I did. Part of me wonders if she pulled things out of him that I never could. Part of me wonders if what destroyed our marriage wasn't me, per se, but that we could never recover from the wounds we'd both imposed on each other. Perhaps his guilt about disappointing me? Perhaps my "loss of innocence" in his eyes could never be fully restored?
Then I think of my current relationship with Gentleman Jack. He is continually telling me how our relationship is better than any he's ever had before. He is aware of mistakes he made in his past and wants to be a better man. Maybe that is how my ex-husband feels now, in his current relationship.
Part of me is jealous because of that. It's still sad we couldn't have worked it all out. I don't think I'm missing him but the idea of the marriage and the children and us all being one happy family. Yeah. Guess I'm still feeling failure-ish over that.
But then I think of all the lessons we had to learn to get to and be who we are now. It's all good. Everything happened as it should.
I really don't think anyone wants to think their ex found someone better than them, amiright? Then again, the ex is a different person. I am a different person. She fits who he is now and I don't. Plain and simple. My Gentleman fits me now and he doesn't. Plain as day.
Now... I suppose I shouldn't be a catty b-word about things but yes, I absolutely judged her appearance, as I'm sure she judged mine.
Yes. I am female.
Sadly, she met me this afternoon as I'd been up all night with a puppy in severe pain after being spayed. And I'd been crying because of her awful howls and restlessness all day long. Oh and did I mention I had to pick up the kids early because my youngest daughter was running a fever of 105? So, yes, I was a puffy-eyed, makeup-less, overwhelmed mess when I met her.
It was very awkward to feel the energy shift in the room. I'm not sure the ex felt comfortable about it. He did seem a bit more spastic.
Ahh... it reminded me of the time I confronted the
BUT that's a story for another blog post.
The point is: it is awkward being the new love of someone's ex and it's awkward meeting your love's ex. And it's just as awkward meeting the love of your ex as it is being the ex. Period.
Did ya'll get that?
My ex-husband seems happy. My kids are happy with her. My kids are also happy with my Gentleman. I am happy.
Guess that's all that matters and the rest will come out in the wash.