Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Every single mom needs one... (part 8) (every single woman too!)
I've come across so many posts in the blogosphere lately where women are beating themselves up because they lose their temper with their children or they feel guilty for wanting time alone. I started this series on the blog a while back as I realized the value of a wide range of things in the life of a single mom. I think these things are pretty valuable to single women too! (check the links for older posts at the bottom of this one.)
Growing up, I had moments of alone time but they were rare. In the house where I grew up, there were 5 of us, 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. We were together all the time and even referred to our bathroom as the 'family room'.
When I moved away from home and 200 miles away at age 19, I lived with my cousin briefly and a roommate for another month or so. Then, I was on my own. Alone. Well... except when my boyfriend (whom I later married) would come over. But he never spent the nights there. (that's a story for another blog post.)
Needless to say, it was a very lonely existence. I didn't enjoy spending time alone. Thus, a few years later, I met my friend Marie and we moved in together. I lived with her until I was married. And then... my husband was gone a lot of the time traveling with work.
I had NO CHOICE but to learn to enjoy alone time. I had no choice but to make the most of my time alone. I actually started enjoying time away from my husband and responsibility. I began taking vacations without him. Then, when I began traveling with work, I enjoyed spending alone time in my hotel room. Room service and a movie that *I* wanted to watch made it so worth it.
After having 2 children and becoming a single mom, I find that alone time, "me" time, downtime... REFUELS me. I can tell when I need it because I do get short with my children. Or I find that I simply don't want to answer the phone to talk to anyone. I can still get lonely when my me-time tank is full but it's so enjoyable to me in the meanwhile.
It's all about balance, people!
Still, when I can have a day to do nothing, ignore chores (or better yet, have my house cleaned!), get in a good workout or yoga class, have a nice quiet evening and a dinner that I'd never cook for my kids, it's the most refreshing feeling. My brain rests. My body rests. My mouth rests! (I am a talker!) And I feel soooooo spoiled.
Then I'm ready to face the world, my life and my kids again. I am renewed.
Like last night... when the ex had the kids, and I got in a bubble bath, complete with floating glass of wine.
I say enjoy it! Learn to make the most of it. It is a must!
Don't you agree?
What do YOU do in your alone time?
Have you learned to enjoy your own company?
Every single mom needs one... (part 1), (part 2), (part 3), (part 4), (part 5), (part 6), (part 7)