Wow, I love the poll idea in yesterday's post. You guys shot my theory all to hell! It was pretty balanced on both polls so no big revelations there.
I do think, from the poll and the comments, that disciplines like financial awareness and body awareness can be taught. It seems that whether you were motivated by outside forces like your parents during school, you could still be motivated by outside forces like a mirror, illness and bill collectors! And even if you were self-motivated, it takes even more awareness to find out what interests you and what road you'd like to travel. Once the decision is made, nothing stops you!
Good stuff, you guys. Thank you!
I've spent most of my life trying to help others or please others. I've put a lot of pressure on myself to stop doing this but really, what I'm starting to realize is that I like it.
The problem becomes when I try to "define" help or what will please people.
Very similar to my revelation of defining what love looks like, I have to remember that I don't have all of the answers. Even yesterday, when my analytical mind was trying to figure out what motivates people, I realized that anything, nothing and everything does or does not!
Seems kinda futile to try and THINK my way through this, doesn't it?
Here's the thing I need to remember, it's ME who defines what helps me and what will please me. Just as it's THEM who defines what helps them and what will please them. I can offer advice (and even that doesn't always work when what people generally seek is validation for the decision they've already made) but when I offer it, I have to remember that my words could be NOTHING or EVERYTHING. It is not up to me to decide.
A Course in Miracles teaches me that the only function I have, in any moment and every interaction, is to accept the atonement for myself.
The only thing I need to offer is love, forgiveness, compassion and the reminder that I don't always know what that looks like. I need to get myself out of the way of Love and let it come through me.
Can I see past the facade of the person I'm with and understand that they want the same things that I do?
Can I remember that, like me, their simplest desire is to be loved and happy?
Then finally and most importantly, can I be gentle with myself for not having the right answer?
I'm working on it. It's time for me to release the frustration and anger of 2010.
2011 is shaping up to be the best year yet.